disc jagger

O Kaposia!

2011-11-18T14:16:00.000-08:00

So Eric O and Mark E and I played some disc today at Kaposia, still one of my very favorite courses, in south St. Paul. I'm up in Minneapolis for early Thanksgiving for a couple reasons, one of them being disc golf. Overall I think I prefer Thanksgiving to Christmas pretty much all around, not having kids. There's the weather situation, too, to think about. You can pretty much guarantee that we'll be playing in snow, if at all, if I'm up for Christmas. But Thanksgiving is anyone's guess. Maybe, maybe not. The Cities are on an epic drought, so it was all dry, though evidently snow is forecast for tomorrow. Low of 34, high of 50. Light wind, often seemingly in our face, whichever way we turned. Very pleasant weather.

Kaposia is one of four epic courses in the Minneapolis area, along with a few other good ones. Kaposia is the big daddy of the region, though, surely the first pro course in the area. It's 24 holes now, after its original 18 had to be pulled back to 9 because of (according to Leonard?) somebody finding toxic waste on the back 9. The new 24 is excellent--I remember the original 18 well, and have played a version of this 24 before, but not this exact 24. 2 holes from the old back 9 have never been brought back, sadly, most famously the hill-to-hill hole, which I once 9ed. (You threw from a high elevated tee across a valley to an elevated green with a ton of possibilities to roll discs away.) At any rate, 2 pleasant rounds.

My iPhone died pretty early into the round so I have few photos. Here are 2:

Round 1: Ander +11, Mark +20, Eric +32. As you can see this is not an easy course. Admittedly it's maybe not quite as hard as that. I 5ed hole 24 to end poorly on an otherwise solid round (several of these holes are legitimate par 4s; the +s are not from par, but from 3s). Eric's worst round, he said, in several years.

Mark had to head out to Important Bidness, but not before we had lunch at a random little burger joint that was hilarious and delicious. Ostermeier and I went back to attempt the beast again.

Round 2: Ander +15, Eric + 24. Not exactly a barnburner of a round there, though Eric and I were close through 9, then we started separating.

Highest score per hole: 6 (all of us threw at least one 6). Lowest: 2. Total birdies by the group, round 1: 1 (Ander, on the first hole). Total birdies by the group, round 2: 2 (both Ander, holes 17 and 18, both part of--sort of--the original 18). No discs lost but one forgets about the leaves. We don't really have those in Arizona.

Makin love--out of nothin at all.

Clandestine Black Locust Recon Mission (Real Muthaphuckin DGs)

2011-08-07T15:25:00.000-07:00

Don't step to these...

I mean listen, we're sitting here talking about practice, not a game, not a game, not a game, but we're talking about practice.

2011-08-02T09:27:00.000-07:00

Jag Fail, Un-fail

2011-08-01T16:35:00.000-07:00

We did Macanaquah. In a day that hit 100 degrees. Damn. Then Mark threw his disc down a deep, deep, deep ravine, into a creek. That happens.

You know Macanaquah, right? OK, yes, I was laughing as he fished that out, but know why? I've been there.

But check out this recovery! Glow! What we Indiana Jags mean to say: Hey, we are practicing! We are just about ready to unleash the plastic hounds, yo.

Future Jag

2011-07-01T06:49:00.001-07:00

Sweet disc!

2011-06-06T14:06:00.000-07:00

There is no reason to blog this course.

2011-06-06T12:55:00.000-07:00

(There really isn't but, as a Jag, I know I need to do unnecessary things.)

Freedom Park is a popular name for disc golf courses, as you can imagine.

Las Vegas!

No, Valdosta, Georgia.

No, this one is in Canton, Michigan, a terrible little town of strip malls and apartment rows. Why was I playing there? Desperation. Why else would I play a 9 hole course? Excuse me, 8 holes. Someone stole hole 9. I planted a small tree in the torn pin so I could throw at something.

Doesn't that look fun?

Hole one? Who knows where. No one helps. No one cares. There are no signs. You wander around past teenagers making out on the dented hoods of Chevy Cavaliers, family reunions, roaming packs of dogs, etc. Oh, there it is. And this: a friendly reminder of the rules, but someone tagged it with UR MOM! is MEXICAN

Hole one says it is 275 feet. It is maybe 250. Hole 2 has a flooded unusable tee pad. Hole 3 is a long hyzer around a blind hedge row near a playground, kids, people walking dogs. Smart design there.

Basket is tucked waaayyy left, over there by those people.

Hole 4 I ignored the fairway and threw a massive cut-the-corner hyzer and parked it. The designers of the course probably didn't have the imagination to see that any decent D golfer would just ignore their fairway.

Hole 5, 6, 7, 8 are blind shots surrounded by morasses of swamp and mosquitoes in tunnels cut through woods, good for mid-range discs, I guess. If you want to practice shaping mid-range shots you can right ahead. Knock yourself out. I shot - infinity. Great.
Yes!

Then I ate some smelt and drove to Rolling Hills.

Overdue report from Ames, Iowa

2011-05-23T20:05:00.000-07:00

Good times from Ames, Iowa! This is the course that Andy and I used to play tons with friends like "No-ho-ho" Matt Vadnais, "Goat Horns" Josh Borgmann, "Doing Dishes" Victor Streeby (I hope you enjoy your name popping up on google, old friends! drop me a line!) and of course the soil geologist Jeff Homburg whose game was unbelievable, though he was a bit of a talker. Leonard played this course at least once too. Anyhow, last October I was back in Iowa for a conference, so I flew into Des Moines and drove up to Ames (not really on the way) to get in a round on the old course before heading over to Iowa City (itself the site of several excellent courses--one of which Mark and I played like maniacs 3--? years ago) to the conference where I would play a couple courses after I did my thing. Plane touched down, and I got up here around 5, just as the light was thinking about going. Only time for 18. So let's do it, Carroll Marty.

Hole 1 starts big. 300' or so downhill, left to right, around that rather large set of trees. Good turnover hole which I should park but in the way of things I do not:

Hole 2 is an easy birdie, with the exception of the death ditch that runs very close to the basket. You may or may not find your disc if you leave it to the right. Not that photogenic. I do deuce. This ditch--ravine rather--runs throughout the course. Carroll Marty is built on an old ball golf course, and has quite a bit of good elevation change, playing up and down the rim of the valley.

Hole 3 (pro tee pictured above) is a bitch from the pro tees. It should always be a bitch from the pro tees. It's a deuce hole from the am tee, but the pro tees on this course make everything much, much harder. You have to shoot across the ravine, probably a skip shot because of the lowish ceiling, hyzering about 300' to the basket, which is of course protected. It is a deucable hole, but you can also lose it in the ravine. Then we go into the woods for a while. Hole 4 is an old school tech hole with about a thousand trees that you have to thread the needle, in the way of good courses. It's uphill a bit, and easy to bogey or double if you get off the fairway. Very reminiscent of certain holes in Madison, and certainly of most holes at Lake Eureka and the front 9 of Northwood Park. Hole 5 is an easy one from the short tees, a must-deuce. But from the long tee, which is about 100' downhill and behind the am tee, you will be lucky to get it up the hill and in the fairway to have a shot at par. Play the long tees here if you can.

What goes up must eventually do something else from what I hear. This is one of the best holes on the course: super deuceable (like hole 4 on Northwoods, actually, except sans water), but don't miss wide. I do not miss wide and just miss the basket low. Sweet. The first image below is from the am tee; the second is from the pro tee, which is considerably harder:

Finally we're back to the bottom for hole 7, a little turnover or forehand shot to the right with a low canopy:

and as you can see, the basket backs up on the ravine. There's enough space to go for my long putt, which I hit like a kickin' chicken.

Beware of this course when the wind gets up, since it swirls down in the bowl like a bastard and is super-tough to read. My experiences on this course include playing in a green tornado sky (well, we just had to finish our round), playing in total blackness (for some reason that eludes me), hitting an 80' putt totally blind in said total blackness, and watching (or wanting to watch) Andy take his undergraduate students out to the course to administer the "final." I also learned quite a bit about alluvial planes and my own inadequacies as a chess player, disc player, and human. Anyhow, for hole 8 we take you to a lovely longish (280'?) shot across the ravine and the fairway into a protected green. Do not hit the trees over the ravine:

The basket is pleasantly behind a wooden wall that repels half-assed upshots:

Hole 9 brings you, in true links style, back up to the parking lot if you're such a chump that you want to play only 9. But obviously you should continue on. It's an uphill tee box to an uphill shot that falls away to the right, with a low canopy, and shit on either side, but especially the right. Not easy, but definitely deuceable with the right execution.

The steps are there partly because this course gets muddy as hell. Here's the shot once you get up the hill: as you can see it opens out nicely to pay off a good drive. But it's a long ways to carry once you clear that smallish gap.

Hole 10 is a super fun hole, 200' down an alleyway to a basket that is super aceable, but if you miss, say goodbye to your disc skipping into the next hole somewhere. Nice risk/reward combo. As I believe Andy can attest (or maybe Matt), I aced this hole hitting the tree on your left (which is no more than 10' off the tee box), ricocheting into two other trees further down and spinning into the basket in front of a crowd of about 30 cub scouts. You might as well go for this one, because there's no real stopping the disc down there by the basket.

Hole 11 seems easy, except that it's a big turnover usually into a stiff wind, and you throw from a tee box slanted to the left, away from the direction you're supposed to play, if you're a righty. It's a doable birdie, but much harder than you thought it would be most of the time. I remember watching Juliana Bowers/Juliana Korver destroy this hole with an awesome drive. Thanks, Juliana, and Sean, for wishing me good luck getting par someday. I'm tryin' real hard.

Usually the woods on the right are super thatchy, and on the left they let the rough get very high, so you'll be looking. This weekend the leaves are mostly gone, and the rough is mowed, so it's an easy deuce:

I think the thing I like best about Carroll Marty is how holes seem easy until you get a closer look. Here's 12: you throw from a nice tee box about 310' across an open field... into a 10' gap...

where it drops down to a green with a flowing stream behind in the ravine. A really nice hole. The straight shot is what you want, but you've got to stop it. Hyzer or anhyzer will almost never work, but fuck, you never know, right? Sometimes they do.

13 is super open, 300' straight ahead, the most aceable hole of the bunch if you've got the distance. Not worth photographing unless the rough is high and sculpted, which it's not in the fall, apparently. So 14 is straightforward, a tough little shot through a sizeable gap...

to a basket close to a 30' drop into the ravine. Don't miss right. There's also usually a left-to-right crosswind:

15 is open and uphill until it becomes much less open around the green. About a 350' drive from the longs, shorter from the shorts, hence the name. A very fun little hole. Plenty to roll away from into the shit on the right or the left.

16 is the payback, a sprawling downhill hole, but first enjoy the sistine chapelish mosaic on the way to the 16th tee:

And now to the tee shot. This is easily 330' I'd say, but plays way shorter. A good roc or buzz is a strong decision in the wind that's usually up. Points for the nice pathways they've built all over this course:

17 is a little unremarkable and unphotogenic, if not easy. It's either a weird little anhyzer hole that you have to throw into a small gap that slants left, so that there's no real shot except the scooby upside-down shot that skips on its back uphill to the right on the fairway (or maybe a bomb hammer). But the long pin position, which it's in today, is a bit ole bomb anhyzer, 330', around that green and the cabbage to a nicely tucked away green. Not too shabby.

And 18, since we're down, is all uphill, all the time. I don't know how long this is. It's driveable, but you really have to launch. It's way uphill, from a flat teebox. A big hammer might work, but it's hard to get much on it. I'd say it plays like 350' but is probably only 275'. Thatch on the left and thatch on the right, and I think there's an alluvial plane here somewhere. If only someone could tell us where it was...

And then I'm out, to drive 2 hours to Iowa City, where I'll meet my friend Nicole and have drinks, and get utterly destroyed by alcohol, apparently, not being able to leave my hotel room the next day until 2pm to barely make it to a reading I really wanted to see and barely hold it together to wander back, thus toasting my whole plan of discing Iowa City that day. However, the reading was killer, Alison Bechdel's. See also her killer graphic memoir (best one out there) Fun Home or her comic strip Dykes to Watch Out For.

They've since built another 18 hole course in Ames, which is good, because this was always packed, which I don't get the chance to play. Next time, Ames. Next time, Iowa City. Next time I'll stay sober and par this one out for my old school cyclone homies.

Yes, Disc will play in Peoria

2011-05-23T10:43:00.000-07:00

10 rounds of disc golf is too much to rightly blog. It would be like Infinite Jest, but with discs hitting trees with footnotes of deep ravines, hotel pizza, cub scouts, steep hills, and water. So I’ll give you some stats, a glimpse at the courses, a smattering of round spotlights, and various photos and such. Some highlights and low-lights (an interesting duality of term—someone’s low-light might be another’s highlight. Etc.) So. A mini-blog I hope you will enjoy. Leonard and Ander have a bunch more videos and photos, so might be another update on the way! I'd like to see some of that material. (** Wait, I added some from Ander. See update below.)

Disclaimer: If anyone wants to question a score or anything, just ask. I have the scorecards. 10 rounds is fucking blur, and this weekend exhausted my arm and mind (not to mention toe blisters).

COURSES

McNaughton Park.

Northwood Park.

Lake Eureka.

OVERALL RESULTS

*Leonard did not play last round.

SEAN: 8 wins, 1 second place, 1 third place.

ANDER: 1 win, 6 second place, 1 third place, 2 fourth place.

LEONARD: 1 win, 2 second place, 2 third place, 4 fourth place.

MARK: 0 win, 4 second place, 3 third place, 3 fourth place.

RANDOM STATS

(Again, remember, Leonard played one less round.)

BIRDIES:

Sean: 34

Ander: 26

Mark: 21

Leonard: 18

DOUBLE BOGEYS:

Sean: 4

Ander: 10

Leonard: 10

Mark: 18

* There were also several 6's, 7's and one SNOWMAN. Haven't seen a Jag Snowman in a good while. I will keep the identities anonymous, though I would note EVERY player had at least one "6" or higher score during the weekend. All of us. So. These courses will bite your ass.

HIGHLIGHTS AND LOW-LIGHTS

* No AC in my Subaru. I paid $100+ to fill the freon up, but it didn't take. Humidity. Sticky back, sticky. Wind roars through open windows. Too bad because we could have played tunes. Oh well.

* (UPDATE 5-23-11: Just got Ander's pics and his phone pics are clearer than mine. Sort of pisses me off. Also, he's just a better photographer. These shots are epic. He has a good disc eye. Will now scatter them into this post. So this might actually now be a kick-ass post. Thanks, A. Example of great pic!)

* Ander gave us books and mix tapes. Hey, Mark, I want that issue of Fugue when you are done.

* Leonard made us score cards! Kick ass, and thanks. It really makes a difference.

* Car of teens comes over blind hill and tries to kill us head-on. But it swerves and we swerve and we all live.

* McNaughton Park a dream. Or a nightmare? Round one. Windy! Also, we don't really know the course. Windy.

S: +6

A: + 9

M: + 9

L: + 11

Approach shot, deceptively downhill. Mark throws his ace disc Glide. It glides, into a murky-ass pond. We never see it again. Goodbye, blue Glide, you were a good friend to Mark.

(In better days, a nostalgic Blue Glide photo for Mark...)

* It went right over there, by that turtle. Notice how I recreate Mark's shot to locate the disc. That's pretty dorky.

*Hole 18 is 849 feet long! Ander and I actually 4 this hole, once each. I feel we should be proudly.

* Crowd evaporates from course for round two. Sweet. I use my course knowledge from round one. Actually round the 9 at -2. Mark parks a birdie on hole 2. Leonard makes an ace run on same hole, over the top. Course knowledge pays as the group goes from 3 birdies collectively in round one to 6 birdies this round. I throw this bad boy below. Note that Ander labels the video McCullough and says my drive looks "pretty good." Ok. He's drunk.

Round two:

S: + 1

A: +10

L: + 11

M: + 14

* Drive to Morton, where Leonard skids off the road during a hair-pin curve. Gravel dust clouds and such. We end up playing more rounds at Northwood than any other course. Northwood is long and very tech at first, then this series of medium-tech accuracy turnovers with a few hyzers. It ends with two bomb holes. So, it has everything. Hole 5 is a real stand-out hole on this course, a true signature hole. Jags par it sometimes and then often make 6's, for example. You have to drive through this:

Then land down here and make an upshot over a down-cliff and around a creek and then the very long turnover putt through thorns/shrubbery like Ander. I sort of dig his fist-pump and barbaric yawp! He deserves it. Awesome putt, A.

You know what? Hell, let me just show you the entire hole. L lets one ride into the void.

* Round 3 Northwood:

S: + 1

A: + 4

M: + 5

L: + 9

* Round 4 Northwood. Mark tightens up his game. He has a weird bogey/birdie round going. He is also apparently blessed by gods. Framed up by the sun. Glow on, Mark!

S: EVEN

M: + 3

L: + 5

A: + 8

* Hotel delivery pizza. Jalapenos make even shitty pizza good. My theory.

* Up early and we head to Lake Eureka. This ends up being our favorite course. Super-techy, with amazing, shape-shot holes, elevation change, chances for birdies. L to R, R to L. Gorges and water. Stinging Nettles. Chances for glory. Chances for doom.

Glory! (That is one of many made Leonard putts.)

Doom! (That is a deep ravine.)

* Round Five Eureka:

S: + 2

L: + 5

M: + 7

A: + 7

* My favorite hole of the weekend. A gem. Hole # 4. Click and blow this one up and see that basket waaayyyyy down there, over a small creek, on a massive hillside. Epic. Fun. Epic fun.

This is the sort of hole you want to watch your disc once you throw. Show us, Mark:

* Round 6 Eureka. OK, I have my beer on now. My putting buzz. Time to go low. I throw a turkey run of birdies. I bomb hole 8 from WAY out. Another highlight is Ander actually hitting the pin low on hole 12, probably the closest ace run of the weekend.

* Hammer, for Rob. You would have loved and hated this course, Rob.

S: -4

A: + 2

M: + 7

L: + 8

* Mediocre diner food. My slaw as a soup. Ander does get a very solid milkshake. We head back to Northwood. My reign of wins ends. Must have been the slaw. Leonard with the win! This would be round from the opening photo--Mark on his belly.

* Or: Where is Mark's disc?

* Cub scouts all over. Sirens off in the distance. Cars keep honking horns. Who knows?

* Round 7 Northwood. Two Jags play well, two do not. I think I had indigestion, or was drunk, or both.

L: + 2

A: + 6

S: + 7

M: + 14

* Round 8 Northwood

* Some Jesus dude wants to play with us. We say no. He is insistent. We say no. Well, Ander said no. Actually, I noticed Ander barking at a lot of people, to get out of our fairway, to play through, etc. I was impressed. I mean he kindly but firmly barked. I bet he learned that in Tucson, where D golfers play a round with their rottweilers. Good work.

* Mark throws a disc INTO the basket and it sticks on the rim. OK...

S: + 2

L: + 5

M: +5

A: + 7

* Loud fat kid keeps yelling out "40!!"

* The world was supposed to end while we were playing disc. It did not end. I have mixed feelings.

* My legs feel like Jello.

* Good form, sir.

* We have an ace fund but no one has aced, so we go CTP. Weird how relatively talented the Jags are and we rarely ace. The last competition ace I have seen was Ander's on one of the hardest Baraboo holes. That was actually a crazy ace. Uphill through a tree gap. That hole is impossible, but we have not seen one since, have we? Let's fix that in Ann Arbor. But Leonard and I try; we both throw it very close, but Leonard wins CTP!! $$. Congrats.How many times has L won this thing? Maybe sour grapes talking. Not sure I have ever won the $$ CTP with Jags.

Round 9 Northwood. A tight round so very fun. Mark actually shoots under the front 9. Leonard plays well then explodes on 17, 18. I throw up my first 6 of the weekend. Vomit. Ander does a birdie three in a row run! I noticed how he tightened his game as we went along, round 1-10. Winner, winner, turkey dinner.

* Ander wins round by getting out places like this...

A: + 1

S: + 2

M: +4

L: + 7

* We say bye to Leonard. Thanks for the weekend, man!

* Mark, Ander, and I meet in seedy hotel bar. Do shots. Eat pizza and burgers and such. Get lit. Feels good.

* Get up Sunday. Someone put alcohol in my drinks. Why did they? Head a bit wobbly. Lobby is full of women in purple dresses.

* Round Ten Eureka. Ander and I go low. Jags getting locked in. Word.

S: -3

A: -1

M: + 6

* Flash a ring, Ander:

* And Mark drains a uphill, longish bird. Nice putt.

* What can you say? Peoria AMAZING. Might even be a future Jag tourney destination? Huh, huh? Huh?

See you kids in Arbor.

Matter Park (with ace alert) 2011

2011-05-11T11:55:00.000-07:00

Woke hungover. Sorry. I have one week off before summer classes and have been drinking beer and watching NBA. What a day. Sun like a sedan. Skipped breakfast, as is my way. Drove to Matter Park in Marion, IN to meet two Jags, Mark and Matt. (A very new Jag. Is he on probation for a year? Do we haze him? Like maybe each Jag should drive his car over Matt's putter? Not sure how that works but for now I make him carry my disc bag and call me Colonel Lovelace.)

I got my times screwed up so arrived an hour early. Oh well, really nothing blar with being at a D golf course early. I just practiced some medium-length putts. Flash a ring, baby.

Matt and Mark arrive and we begin. First thing, Matter Park looks excellent, very impressive. The woods used to be gnarly, with earthen tees, no signs. Not now. The local club, The Flying Aces, have done a shit-load of work, and the course is manicured, tight, beautiful, with great tees, signage, and the always kick-ass catchability Spider Baskets from HOF Allen Pier. My only complaints was maybe they cleared out too much brush, but much of that will grow back in--it's still early season. I would also prefer tee signs BEHIND the tee pads, not in front, but now I'm getting picky about an excellent course.

Example of Spider:
Look at all those chains, and the basket deep like a clawfoot bathtub. You need that on some of these holes. Baked dirt, sloping hills--you want the disc to REMAIN in the basket. Example:

Imagine how a missed putt rolls here...

Onto ROUND ONE:

Hole one rather ordinary. A 302 foot R to L hyzer (You could argue this course has to many R to L. Just ask Matt, a left hander) into a hidden pocket of woods, basket tucked inside. We all easily par. Then you enter the woods.

Holes 2-6 are deep in woods, mostly short, with a lot of trees, pockets of thickets, technical shots. A really fun time. A place you need to make birdies, but might easily make bogey or worse.

Here is hole # 2, a turnover you MUST get past that big tree in the center. Some of this reminds me of Heistand. This hole possibly an example of where they cleared out too much of the thickets and shaazz-up, etc. Hard to say. It's a personality thing, it's nuanced. But you don't want sanitary and you don't want impossible, right? I guess I'm saying I want things to grow in a bit more here. I like a little hot sauce with my cheese.

Hole 6. Narrow fairway, trees right off pad. You better know those two trees are in the mind.

Matt threads the needle. And here is Mark in the woods:

He makes a tricky downhill putt. That's my drive in front of him. Why yes, I would birdie. We handle the woods fine, and I actually string together birdies on 3, 4, and 5. Mark has a couple of wood birdies, too. Matt plays OK, except for hole 3, where he double-burgers. Hole 3 is nasty, 254 feet through a narrow uphill chute that then falls off hard to the left, downhill. So we exit the woods and head back out into the park, to hole 7.

Hole 7 is 266 feet, a R to L hyzer, with some weird gravel pit in front. You want to clear that pit. I throw a low, tight Beast, it clears the gravel and skips hard and....

ACCCCCCCCCCCCCCEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!

My first skip-ace ever, thank you kindly. I have always wanted a skip-ace, ever since I saw Ander do it twice, at Old Farm. (BTW, people rate Farm course 2.9 on that site and they are absolutely full of shit.)

Happy, happy. This seems to fuel my round and I continue to shoot low. Matter Park opens up into sprawling holes, and then a few more woody tech one through gaps. Example:

This is hole 14, only 190, but creek on L and OB on R and a narrow shaft through those trees. Hole 15 is much the same. Then, oh, hole 16, 433 foot pain in the ass through massive trees, with creek behind hole. I bogey there, but everything else is tight. Matt picks up lots of bogeys on the back, while Mark plays a steady round, mostly pars.

Sean - 7 Mark +1 Matt + 7

ROUND TWO

Round two, we all played very close to one another. In fact, at the turn we were:

Mark -1, Sean EVEN, Matt EVEN.

That makes for a fun round.

Then Matt did some of this:

Watch out for that tree! Matt would explode a bit on the back 9, just as he did on the first round. Something for Matt to consider. But Matter back 9 is tough, no doubt.

And Mark went some of this:

Is that a construction zone?! Mark would double burger here, hole 11, 446 yards of pain. Toughest hole on the course I would argue.

And I just sort of bobbled along, par, par, par, blar. Most impressive was Mark's response to his double bogey. His round was nuts, with two 5's yet he shot a good score. A testament to his talent and resilience. He pounced back immediately, with several birdies. In the end, his birdie on hole 15 sealed the deal:

Mark EVEN Sean +1 Matt + 6

Matter's holes 17 and 18 really hurt the course. They are ordinary, and not a place to swap shots. Most every other Matter hole is unique, fun, with an ability to birdie or bogey. I really enjoy this course. So. I would like to say something in words, as if in stone:

THANK YOU MATTER PARK.

Beautiful Things April 29, 2011

2011-05-02T07:00:00.000-07:00

Mark and I went to Boondocks on Friday. Remember Boondocks? I have blogged it before, so no need to take you on a tour, but just a quick update. I want to blog more, Jags, as a reminder that the season is here! Dust off your bags and sharpen your Sharpies. Finally, a wonderful hint of spring in Indiana. The sun! I showed up early and took the photo above. Nothing here is photo-shopped--that is the actual finger of of God blessing the sport of disc golf. A shard of sunlight pointing our way to the basket. Amazing.

We play 3 rounds on a very manicured Boondocks. Impressive, since Boondocks can be sketchy at times. But still plenty of thorns and such. Brushy-brush, actual man-made walls. See below:

Mark peers through...

First round:

Remember that rainy time in Michigan when Rob stepped out of the car and bombed a 100 foot putt for birdie on the first hole? That's what I did. Ching!

Mark made a looonng putt, too, on hole # 7, a bomb down the hill and into the basket.

I played steady with one bogey, many pars, a smattering of birds. Mark played what we call a "Phil Mickelson" round. What does that mean? It means a ton of birdies, then a ton of bogeys and double-burgers. Wild scoring.

SEAN: -2 MARK: + 1

Second round:

Mark threw a shot down a massive hill and smoooshed the disc between the top of the basket and a number sign. Never seen that one, at least that I remember. It made a sound like a plastic turd. Wedged thing.

We both sort of played flat the second round. We talked a lot and lost a bit of focus, but that's part of disc golf, too, you know, to hang out and just enjoy your pals and throw the discs around. It was a relaxed round, a bit shaky. We spent a lot of time in the shrubbery. But we did arrive at 18 tied at +3. Drama!!

What will Sean and Mark do?

Sean will throw a hammer into the thickest fucking thorny-ass area in the world. Yes! Choke! Mark will par and says thank you kindly.

A hammer for Rob!

SEAN: +4 MARK: + 3

Third Round:

I went low this round. Mark birdied # 7 again, not an easy feat. Unfortunately, he also had a murder of bogeys. I was quite happy to birdie # 18, since I faltered there in round two.

SEAN: -5 MARK: + 3

And now for a beautiful, beautiful video. Look at the clouds! The greenery! Listen to the singing birds! Oh, joy! And that long putt...just like a jag.

What Rain?

2011-04-27T13:37:00.000-07:00

Michigan Disc Deluge

2010-09-17T12:03:00.000-07:00

The silver Subaru meet at Rolling Hills. The skies gray soap and a bit low. The Jag contingent? A bit giddy/high, as in high on about-to-play-D-golf.

Rob shows up, shakes hands, and bombs a 100+ foot putt on hole #1 for birdie. Apparently, Rob doesn't need any warm-up. Kudos, sir.

Hey Rob, is that a hammer?

Another highlight is when we are in the techy stretch. A blind shot through a tree-tunnel. I throw the trusty (ace X 2 disc) Stingray and it slither-flies, turns over the rise, then chains, chains, chains--I run after! My heart goes modem! Then I stumble and slow. It's a kick-out. Sitting there like a neon cow patty.

If you click on the pic you'll see an orange/yellow disc right of the pin. That was indeed my drive.

On we go...

Rolling Hills is, naturally, rolling hills, then techy shots, then big-ass long techy shots, then some motherfuckers! My favorite holes were probably 14 and 15. 14 was a long straight drive down a chute, then a 45 degree right turn up a hill. Andy actually has a par putt on this hole. None of us par the hole. We will take our bogeys.

Another great hole is 15, a R to L major DROPOFF, huge elevation change, amazing hole.

Wow. This hole is so steep that it has a rope assist-line thing on the L side, to hold onto as you descend the hill. Dat be wicked. The cool thing about holes 14-18 on this course is how many strokes competitors could exchange. I mean the course leaps up and fangs you on this stretch. Smart design.

Patented Andy flick on I think hole 5 or something. Basket tucked under that tree. Andy had that forehand pretty grooved.

Sean -2 Mark + 2 Rob + 7 Andy +7

Then rain. Big buckets of fat cold drops of rain. Suck-ass rain. 99 red balloons of rain. The type of rain that makes you squishy and scaly and cursing and shiver. We go get lunch. Ann arbor Noodle shop. I ate the penis of a crab, in some form of fish broth. Wasn't too bad, actually.

What in the fuck kind of place is Cass Benton?

(It's raining hard now. Steady and really fucking cold. I feel like a slug. Fuck it. We play.)

Here are some reviews of Cass:

Poorly respected by the people there to put it simply. Each tee is surrounded by a mound of cigarette butts and bottle caps. A ton of hole signs are missing.

Some people smoking the magic tobacco openly, people please smoke it before or after your game. i watched as a dog ran up and stole some guys disc.

Douchebag circus kind of covers it. From over-privileged kiddie punks to obnoxious adults to vagabond rapist-looking weirdos who seem to wander from time to time, there' s a little of everything. Also besides the human trash, there's the trash on the ground. Litter is everywhere, and vandalism rampant.

OK...

Well here's what the trails look like:

Honestly, this place scared me. We were very fortunate to play in a cold rain, since this kept most people away. The holes were shredded, tagged with paint (who tags trees?), vandalized, and giant trees had fallen all over the place. Giant Tinker Toys. Shards of glass. Smoldering piles of burnt earth (I'm not kidding). Stagnant pools of black. Powerline poles bent and knocked over, with lines on the ground. No one seemed to care about multiple power lines on the ground. I mean it looked like King Kong made a visit, drunk. What happened at this course?

However...the disc golf was actually glow.

There were open bombs:

Then long impossible-techy holes, big-ass trees, little trees, spindly trees, culverts, power lines, creeks, picnic tables in creeks, major elevation changes, party people, chutes (even a thread-the-needle hole), litter, litter, litter.

Is this techy enough for you?

Or this? There is no fairway. Where is Ander and his axe when you need him?

On hole one we let these douche bag circus kids play through (both looked like wet rats). One kid just stood talking on a cellphone on the tee. He looked dazed. I was thinking animal tranquilizer. He mumbled into the phone, "Come on out. It's just a drizzle." This was a brave lie.

They asked us to join them. We, uh, declined.

I later saw the same kid perched atop a tree. Mark almost knocked him out of the tree. I'm not joking. Then the kids vanished. I imagine many people vanish at this park. Bye.

Vastly interesting disc golf. Variety, all the shots. Oddly, it's good disc golf, just in a bizarre setting. Rain, rain, rain--cold. My skin shriveled up and my teeth actually chattered. It sucked. But it was fun. Especially for Mark.

Mark + 3 Sean + 6 Rob + 6 (yep, Rob tied me) Andy + 13

Well, the Cleveland crew bailed on us. Man. Well. Well, it was wet as fuck, I'll give them that. But come on, Jags! So they drive away, and guess what--it stops raining.

WTF?

Mark and I play another round.

Mark + 1
Sean + 6

This round Mark threw a disc sort of near (though not really) a group of two women/two men huddled over something (use your imagination) and one woman kept yelling at Mark, "You didn't say fore! You didn't say fore!"

You didn't say fore!

You didn't say fore!

Whatever. It was funny how Mark handled the situation. He just totally ignored her, like she was a chattering squirrel. And really, wasn't she?

Did I mention Mark slipped and busted his ass on a shot? Pretty cool. Usually I do that. I laughed.

It's getting all shadowy and blue. Darkness. We play on.

Clearly, Sean sucks at Cass Benton. And Mark seems to own the damn place. I mean WTF? I have noticed I lost my mind at Mississinewa when it was flooded. Now I lose my game during cold rain. Is that mental weakness? I wonder. I'd like to play well in ALL conditions. Who knows?

BTW, do you see anything funny about hole 15? Typical Cass...

Mark is laughing because that basket is as high as his waist. It's a midget basket. Note where the shaft of the pin is--buried feet into sand. Very odd.

Well. We leave. Get lost. Eat pizza. Go to sleep. Go play BLACK LOCUST!!

Wow, Black Locust. 27 wonderful, wonderful holes. 27! Damn. We pay huge fees, have to pay even more fees, drive to offices to get wrist bands, etc. OK. But I'm not complaining. This course is GaGa.

Including this early one, up a hill, over beautifully sculpted bonsai evergreens, a framed-up startle of a disc golf hole. You see these things and want to weep. (Or yelp with envy--this layout/topo made my home course look like a turd).

We keep seeing odd holes in Michigan. These courses have personality.

Yes, it is bolted into a tree stump.

Sean + 6 mark + 12

I can't explain this course. Like garden of Eden material. Just awe. Every shot needed. Every distance. Variations. R to L. L to R. BOMBS. Finesse. Up the hill, down the hill. Big serpentine turnover fairways. Narrow tech fairways. Beauty.

Wow.

Wow.

That's pretty much what I can say about Michigan D golf.

Wow.

Good to see u Cleveland jags! And good work, Mark. He beat me down at Cass.

Good to throw.

Glow.

S

Oh, postscript. On the way home we stopped for gas. Mark bought a publication made up entirely of Cass Benton local players.

I shit you not.

S

Happy Day in Muncie

2010-08-05T16:47:00.000-07:00

Went out at 9am for a few rounds at McCulloch with Sean and our friend Matt. By 10am it's Africa hot with humidity like pea soup. We are sweating balls but throwing well. I think the first round Sean was -3 or -4, Mark -1, Matt +5.

Second round. Skies are darkening. Sean checks the weather on his i-phone and things look sketchy. We don't care. Earlier in the week Sean and I discussed a study that looked into the reason men get hit by lightning more than women. Results of that study: Men are stupid. More on that later.

Round two: Interesting front nine, including a hole where Matt says something bad about Catholicism, then has a beautiful long putt fall in the basket, sit there for a beat, then literally jump out of the basket onto the ground. Mysterious forces are definitely at work.

We roll up to hole #11.

The basket is 240 a bit uphill. There are two ways to go at this thing. A hyzer way up in the air that goes around the big tree on the right and feeds to the basket. Or a low straight shot right at the hole. Sean likes the big hyzer. I've seen him hit the basket twice in the last two weeks with this shot. Once he hit the top, once he hit the bottom. I figure he's going to ace this bad boy soon.

Lately I've been trying the low line drive. I pull out my beloved blue Glide and let it rip. Things look good. Behind me Sean says, "That's in," and a second later it gets inhaled by chains. I jump and yell and dance.

My second ace ever, and my first with witnesses. This smile stays on my face for some time.

At hole 14 it gets very dark. Big thunder. Sean checks the i-phone and the news isn't good. As we walk up the fairway on 15 the downpour starts. We play 16 and 17 in massive headwind and good-sized-hail. I have the idea that if we don't finish the round the ace doesn't count. We're completely drenched. My bag has an inch of water in the bottom. We're going to finish the damn round.

We do. I shake like a wet dog and drive on home.

How Jags Drive & Other Tidbits

2010-07-21T10:42:00.000-07:00

No big blog post since we were all there. But here's how we drive Hole 1 Lustig:

This is a disc I found at Heistand:

Here is the giant turnover shot by L that continually buzzed the basket.

Here are we. See you next year, and looking forward to the stats!

Jags.

Well, 0-2, this week, but 3'39" this week

2010-06-21T20:44:00.000-07:00

Well met, Mark Ehling, Eric Ostermeier. We met up in Minneapolis this last week where I was up to do a signing, a reading, some sweet disc golf, and a marathon. We met at 9am at Bryant Lake Park, in Edina, Minnesota. It's a pay-to-play that was, I believe, previously blogged on this site. Please revisit that post, because you should, because you should play this course. With a caveat. We played this course. Good times were had by all. First, some scores, to alleviate the drama:

Round one: Mark +6, Ander +8, Eric +14. Round two: Mark +7, Ander +8, Eric + 10. As you can see both rounds were close (particularly the second). Mark played well. Eric played well. Ander played, ah, maybe not so well. Some evaluations later. But photos first. I'm way overdue on blogging. I played a couple rounds at Blue Ribbon Pines with these same chaps in December that were quite a lot of snowbound fun. They resulted in my dead batteries in the camera, so not good blogging there. I have a few photos from Sean and my rounds in Denver in April which will get some quality blogging in the future.

Warming up the putters. Feeling pretty good. It's true I've not been playing much during the best part of the year down in Tucson. Been other things looming. Thus:

Here's Mark driving on hole 2, which is a pretty excellent hole. This course is generally very, very well groomed. It's lovely, cut like the open holes on Hiestand Park in Madison, groomed, mowed fairways. Not a ton of big foliage, but well put together. And great elevation change. Not this hole, but you'll see:

He finds some foliage, as you can see, but shoots out of it:

Hole 4 is one of my favorites. The area on the right below the railing is a large drop off, apparently referred to as "jail." You can see why if you're down there. Mark's shot leans right and ends up...:

in jail. He recovers for par this time.

Eric hits a long birdie putt (props), self-awards candy. This is deserved. Eric misses something like 8 putts from the 30-40' range these two rounds by a total of maybe 2 feet. His action is on. Not 100% on, but on:

And here's Mark in round two, again in jail, contemplating his fate, after a muxed drive and a muxed upshot. This time he bogeys:

Here is hole 7, another favorite. It's 416' from the long tee (of course we play the long tees. Are we not men?) to an elevated green, nicely built up on levels. Eric about to tee:

My drive on the first round is excellent and I par. My drive on the second round leaves me with this wack-ass lie:

On hole 9 or 10, I believe (I could be messing up the numbers), here's me about to tee off. It's a lovely downhill hole, easily driveable. 300', it drops off about 60 feet to the left. Super aceable. Of course if you miss the ace, which you do, then you're in deep trouble. The first round I throw a driver. Second time I wise up and just throw a buzz. None of us deuces this either time, though we have a total of something like 5 birdie putts. Ehhhhh. But I do look fine about to throw. All potential energy, not yet kinetic (also: nice pants):

A little later, this is an easyish left to right downhill hole, maybe 13? Here's Ehling about to throw a shitty forehand. Shortly thereafter I will throw a shitty forehand. We will both par. Eric throws good drives both times, but being without a forehand, he'll have 30-40' putts for birdie which he will clank. Man, I hope we'll play better in Madison. We might need a forehand...:

At least my camera is rocking with the disc-in-air action shots. Both rounds are back and forth quite a bit, swings in lead. We all birdie. We all bogey. Or double bogey. Or, in my case, triple bogey. This course has teeth if you don't play it smart. My camera is so good, in fact, that I get a double-shot of Ehling putting on maybe hole 15:

Huh. Double up. Hunh. Hunh:

I gotta say: these boys be playin. Ehling hits some big-ass putts this round. His drive is long. And strong. He got his friction on. Sorry for the preponderance of Sir Mix-A-Lot references in this post, but you know what baby got... Hole 16, I think, is a nice tight downhill groove. There's a big ole rock on the left, but there's quite a bit to thread here. Eric takes his shot:

and ends up someplace in the cabbage. I throw a lovely little slipper down the center, barely missing some crap, and end up with the following lie (which is also the lie for my par putt on the second round):

Inevitably I miss my putt. Turns out I need to practice the blind over-massive-rock putts. Luckily I live in Tucson. Look out, assholes, in Madison.

And here is my favorite hole, hole 17, 542 feet downhill over a ton of crap onto a lovely fairway. We bomb some shots here because we are men. Did I mention we were men? Thus:

Mark and I are 1 or 2 strokes apart going into the upshot on 17. I am sitting on a great drive, maybe 100 to the basket, uphill. Mark is way off, going to be a nearly impossible par.

However, when we get to the bottom of the hill we meet up with a park cop, who spends a solid half hour entirely reducing our collective golfing mojo to rubble. This story goes on for a while, but the long and short is that we are each given $65 tickets for not paying the greens fees. Now this pisses me off. I came to this course fully prepared to pay the greens fee, and tried to pay it at the park entrance. It was closed. At no point did I see a sign indicating how I was supposed to pay the park fee. Apparently you were supposed to drop it in an envelope somewhere, which in retrospect we should have seen, sure. Needless to say we are irritated, but there's no way to argue with petty dictators. Though he did talk to us for a long time about suicide and the stresses of his job.

Chance I pay the ticket: 20%.

Level of irritation: high.

Number of minutes lost while waiting to receive our tickets: approx. 30:

After our delay, here's a shot of the slightly elevated and nicely-built-up green. I have an easy upshot for par which I shank. We both bogey. Irritation.

18 is a good finishing hole, uphill, long, 434' uphill. But a pretty little fairway. Ehling does not wilt. I don't wilt enough for Eric to catch me (we were close the last round especially, as the scores suggest). Here's Mark driving, prettily:

So, what lessons to take away? Eric's putting: improved. Ehling's putting: much improved. Ehling's play: improved. My play: not improved. We all left quite a few strokes out there. This puts me 1-3 versus Ehling in the last 4 rounds we've played. Too bad he won't be able to make it to Madison to put it on the line, since I think he'd compete well against everyone. I go home flushed with another good day of disc, do a snazzy reading at Magers & Quinn (cool bookstore in uptown Mpls), wonder what this portends for Madison.

But, then I have my year's goal to get to on Saturday up in Duluth, Minnesota, along Lake Superior, which is the lake as far as I'm concerned (sorry, Erie & Michigan). Tons of people up there for Grandma's Marathon. This is not a running blog so I will not post at length about it except to say that it is very hard, even when you think you are prepared for it. The last 6.2 miles are a new level of pain and awareness. Yet you persevere. Props to the AC/DC cover band around mile 17: you guys were good, but you need to hook up with the bagpiper on mile 12 for the long bagpipe solo on the (glorious) "It's a Long Way to the Top (if You Want to Rock and Roll)" if you want to be serious about it. Maybe not the best bet to drink the half a Miller High Life at Mile 10, but at least I turned down the bloody mary at the halfway point, knowing what that would have done. Not sure about the string quartet. Not really pump up music, but at the same time, there's only so many jock jams you want to hear. A pretty awesome, as in inspiring-awe, experience, really. I had hoped to run 3'30"-3'45". I am on pace with the 3'30" pace team for the first half, and then I realize gradually that it's not going to happen, so my new goal is to avoid getting caught by the 3'40" pace team. No fucking WAY they're getting me. Actually for a while in the mile 21 area I am not completely sure that I'm going to finish, if I'm being honest, or if I might finish in 4'00"+. A number of outcomes are forseeable. I realize in retrospect that it might have been smarter to draft behind the 3'30" pace dude, since there were some substantial winds in our face most of the time. Anyhow, I do not let the 3'40" pace team get me, and I finish in 3'39". Am close to puking for a while, but don't. Recover, sort of. Still recovering. Nachos, per our own Sean Lovelace, are applied liberally with beer.

Turns out when I get back to my wife's folks' house in Minneapolis they saved a copy of the Star-Tribune's special Marathon section:

And who's that bastard on the front cover in the white shirt and blue shorts wiping his face like a fool? That be your correspondent. The 3'40" pace team is about 30 seconds behind me--the guy with balloons on the right. Well, time to put disc back up where it belongs on the list of priorities. When I can walk without pain, that is. Congrats to Mark for his wins, and to Eric and Mark for their improved games. I'm a fan of more competition pretty much always. And the future looks like that...

Father's Day

2010-06-21T12:11:00.000-07:00

Spending time with my daughter on Father's Day:

Ace Report: McCulloch Hole 10

2010-06-11T13:32:00.000-07:00

I had 3 summer goals. One was to ace at McCulloch, my home course. It's been on the earth 3 years and I still had not aced the damn course. It was annoying. I mean this is my course. I helped put it in the ground.

Hole 10 is a turnover shot, about 240, uphill. Trees guarding the R side. I selected a Champion Sidewinder and threw it turnover high into a strong push (R to L) wind. It did the full S curve and fell right into the R side, no chains. Just right into the basket with a thunk.

This was my first ace without chains. This was also my first ace without witnesses. Aces are MUCH better with witness. I shouted and looked around, into nothing, just a parked blue Camaro, and this is a public park so I'm not approaching a parked blue Camaro.

Still, it felt good.

Summer goal # 2 is to beat my McCulloch course record (-5). The closest I have been is -3.

Summer goal # 3 is to have sex with Lady Gaga.

Peru 2010 Hollllaaarrrrrrrrrrrrr

2010-05-24T04:52:00.000-07:00

(Note: This post will include an ace and two epic videos. Enjoy.)

Possibly useless stat of this post:

Total Birdies Made, rounds 2-6. (I will not include the initial Mark/Sean round for obvious reasons.)

Sean: 20 Mark: 19 Andy: 10
Aaron: 9 Rob: 8

Jags, Peru, 2010--Commence the flight of polymer! And let us begin on hole one at Pieradise, home of disc golf H.O.Famer (inducted 2008) and tireless apostle, Allen Pier. I consider this one of the finest tee pads in golf--it is Allen Pier's back porch. And doesn't that say it all? The man took a hobby and made it into a glow-farm of D golf goodness. Some of you may not know, but besides being one hell of a D golfer, Allen has been building baskets (the exquisite "Spider-3," possibly the finest catchability of any basket) and designing courses (some of them legendary in IN: example Ross Hills) since 1979.

Thank you, Allen.

Up above this tee is a balcony. Wouldn't it be cool to fire one off from the balcony? Yes, but do Allen and Jeannie Pier want you in their house? Probably no.

Pieradise odds and ends:

1.) Course opened summer 2001.

2.) Many of these holes originally had a $50 Birdie Bounty when installed (in the long positions). The first to birdie got the $$. Hole 15 "long" still has the $50.00 birdie bounty and is the only one left.

3.) Allen even has long poles scattered around the course to help you pluck discs from trees.

This isn't really where it began. Mark and I had our own early round, as is our way. Just like last year, Mark takes the cardinal round of the day. I putt like Bafflement, while Mark calmly sang the chains. Mark has improved an already glow putting game, and that will bring agony, fellow Jags.

ROUND ONE: Mark: Even, Sean: +1

There were no big highlights here, though Mark did birdie the first two holes, important point, psychologically. You don't want to be down two strokes in two holes (I par both). The pins are in the B position, but not really. Why? They were moved for one reason and this is a theme for the weekend: WETNESS. We didn't get actual rain, but we got all the aftereffects of a previous deluge. But so it goes.

Mark in the water makes me happy, but it is only standing water, no penalty, so now that makes me less happy. Much of the course is soaked. Pools of water, of muck/fuck. A stench of mosquito spit in the air. But still, disc golf, so fun.

Allen had to move a few baskets and he chose to move them closer, make them easier. There was most likley no other choice. Still, this makes me sadful. I like Pieradise in the long or true medium positions. The course deserves to be itself, if that makes sense.

"Ho hum," Mark says, "think I'll just walk down this perfectly crafted fairway (Hole 5, a Pieradise gem) and make another 25 foot putt."

The Cleveland Order of Jags arrive. A little browsing of the pro shop, a little shit-talk and fist bumps, seems like everyone if eager to disc it up. We're happy to see Andy after his Ebola Virus scare during the Cincy Trip. He looks fully alive to me. Welcome back, Andy.

Loading the D quivers with discs. Beers popped, espressos (code for lattes) consumed, cashews in palms, let's disc:

ROUND 2 scores (in order lowest to high): Sean + 2 Mark + 4 Andy + 5 Rob + 5 Aaron + 7

A sloppy round, pretty unremarkable scores throughout, though I immediately noticed the Cleveland Office have tightened their games. Specifically, Andy's forehand flick tight and long (He would birdie 17). Rob with very few hammers (maybe two all trip and they sucked), but much better at recovery shots all around for par. And Aaron exponentially approved with mid-range shots. This would bring him phosphorescent truck-loads of pars. Sure, he shot +7 here, but would tighten.

Mark didn't putt as well this round (none of us did). The highlights were many ace runs by Sean (I'm going 3rd person, sorry) and Rob. We both nearly hit the basket on 11. And 18 was eventful. I had a slim lead and parked a Beast in the swollen creek. Anxiety like a nervous squirrel inside me. I then made a 30 foot for Bogey. Squirrel runover by my Subaru. Bye squirrel. But Rob had the second-best shot of the weekend. A 50-plus foot hyzer putt!! Ching!! Birdie on 18 for Rob!

Rob on hole 14 (an absolute beast. Hole is behind that fir tree. OB left, woods right. Big-time tribulate/hate hole, as in pain [though Mark actually birdies this hole in this round. All others bogey and I par.]). I always enjoy watching golfers play hole 14, the way you might enjoy observing weekend canoeists navigate a serious rapid--you can set up a lawn chair, a few cans of beer, and watch for days.

Jags also had a STAR PAR on 12! This means all of us parred the hole. Every person playing the hole, hole 12, made a par score. That hole, 12, we all parred. Par was the score for hole 12. Hole 12, all par, us. Score for hole 12, for all, par. So, yeh, we were happy, having made a Star Par, having made par on the hole, all of us, par, on that one hole.

Let's go get Mexican food.

We have to get Mexican because the Jags understand the mystique of routines. (Did you know Wade Boggs ate chicken, only chicken, before every game?) The Disc Golf Gods are always lurking. They live in the brown silt of lake-bottoms, the dust of your disc golf bag pockets, within the echoes of knocks of a disc on a tree. Culver's in Madison, Mexican in Peru. I imagine if we return to Columbus we will once again enjoy white wine in the restaurant of a yacht club.

Andy and I have substantial (oddly, they would not let me upgrade my tequila) margaritas and I start to feel good, that rotgut tequila coursing through my veins, a little jet fuel, a little dumb-skull, getting a little loosey and this makes me putt well later and maybe take a few more chances through trees and, well, shit, let's go to Honey.

Ah, Honey.

Built in 1978, folks, and still a dream.

Ace warning. Ace warning...

And some boisterous scores on the way:

Honey Bear, Sean do not fear thee. And look at those big-ass pretty cumuli. And I bought this huggie for my beer. I am extremely superstitious and glow the color green. As soon as I bought this huggie, I felt I would play well.

ROUND 3 scores (in order lowest to high): Sean -7 Aaron + 1 Andy + 4 Mark + 4 Rob +6.

Wild outcome, with Aaron in 2nd and Andy tied for 3.

It went like this:

Rob fishing for plastic trout.

Andy way down a ravine.

Aaron plays the entire round with ONE disc. This one. Interesting methodology, and it worked. Note his second place finish and highly respectable score this round.

The course was wonderful, per usual, with the added bonus of substantial water in play. Aaron rounded the turn at EVEN. I was at -2 and then went stoopid, shooting another 5 under on the back with this as # 17: choose my trusty Star Stingray (a Boondocks ace disc), let her fly:

ACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yahhhoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

That feels glow and I also picked up a 4000 cent ace fund. Thank you, gents. I will spend the money on corn tortillas and a new driver (spoiler alert).

(I once fell into a LA ditch for that exact disc. I lost my phone, soaked my wallet, and destroyed my mom's key-chain full of photos of her grand-kids. It was worth it. I got the disc.)

Other highlights were Aaron's overall score, Rob's birdie on 17 (never easy), and STAR PAR on hole 4. This means all of us parred that particular hole. All of us, par.

More beers, more espressos, let's caterwhomp over to ROUND FOUR of the day.

ROUND 4 scores (in order lowest to high): Sean -2 Mark EVEN (or as someone put on the scorecard "-0" OK) Rob + 2 Aaron + 2 Andy +4.

We get to hole one of ROUND FOUR and Mark throws a decent mid-range shot well past the hole and Aaron emits this massive ululation; he goes,

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO."

So we all look at him, like we freeze and give him this WTF? inquisitive stare, and he sheepishly says, "What? I thought it hit the basket and then rolled in and then rolled out and I swear that's what I saw."

And we shook our heads. There might have been tongue-clucking. Definitely shaking of heads. I cracked open another beer.

Aaron said, "I swear that's what I saw."

An owl hooted in the trees. The sun yawned.

Aaron said, "I did. Really."

After that business, another typical Honey round, wild shots, plenty of birdies and bogeys. I step up to hole # 2 and grab my Stingray and bang the basket! Bounces out. Highlights include a STAR PAR on holes 3, 14, 15. This is pretty sweet because it means all of us made par. I also thought Rob's steady +2 round was impressive. He's known to fall off when shooting a good round. Not this time.

Aaron is a blur. No, really, Aaron is a blur. Did I mention the incredibly random screaming?

Andy cranks a turnover. A typical Honey hole. Basket on the right, hugging a cliff. The design and history linger on...

We reload. Beer, espressos. Mark says, "I will shoot under on this course."

Indeed:

ROUND 5 scores (in order lowest to high): Sean -5 Mark -5 Andy EVEN Rob + 2 Aaron + 5.

Postures of fatigue? Possibly.

I don't think the two -5 scores show evidence of fatigue, but then again Mark and I are both runners. Other factors might be declining sunshine, accumulation of beer and latte effects (uh, Aaron), etc, but the fact is we had four bogeys and a 5 on the last two holes.

Most impressive was Mark's -5, since he publicly stated he would shoot under. I thought Rob's + 2 (back to back now) was also impressive, but what if he had not bogeyed three of the last four? What if?

OK, back to the hotels. Mark and I stay in the Circus Inn. Can you handle prints of clowns staring at you as try to sleep?

You could if your option was where Management placed the Cleveland Office. It was shuddersome. Paint flaked off the walls. The doors of the empty rooms yawned open like toothless mouths. The whole place smelled like ass.

The actual door to the Cleveland Office room...

OK, well, you do what you can. So Mark and I drove over and drank beers and I tried out the Cleveland Office's new espresso machine. Wild. Also the Celtics beat the living shit out of Orlando on TV. Then Mark and I unstuck ourselves from the room and went home. Tomorrow?

Mississinewa.

ROUND 6 scores (in order lowest to high): Mark +5 Sean +7 Rob + 15 Andy + 18 Aaron + 20.

24 holes. The fucking course is submerged. 6950 very wet feet. Does that include the extra 6 holes? I don't know. Established in 1985 and shows: The baskets reminded me of the Mad Max films.

The first few holes are tight and difficult. Example: Hole one, Andy below. Click on the pic and see how my Jesus Phone caught the disc in flight.

I lose a disc on hole four, in the dense undergrowth. A disc I really love. I felt this was a bad omen. This disc-loss gets me in a funk. My feet are steeped and muddy and I'm not happy. I reach for the disc in my bag, but it's gone. This is called phantom disc syndrome, or PDS.

This is called mental weakness. Key word, weak. You can't let an early set-back define the round. First thing, everyone plays in the same shit. Second, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. You think you aren't clicking so you do not click. It's like putting. Missed putts lead to missed putts. Made putts lead to made. In hindsight, my funk disappoints me. It's something to think about, for me. Toughen up mentally, freak-o.

Let's move on.

Tight holes open to more sprawling ones, but still with shot-making. I mean you need ALL shots for this course. Example, sprawl hole:

We leave the numbers. We go into the "Letters": Holes A, B, C, D, E, F. These are tough. Reminds me of Blair Witch, a reference Ander will get. I don't mean the film. I mean a series of holes in Colorado. Here, Indiana, you get tee-pads, but no yardage. These holes are tight, gnarly, and include a hole I will now label, The Head Scratcher.

If you want to know why Andy is scratching his head, you should click on the photo. That pond is long. Deep. The water looks and smells like horse piss. Frogs croak this in low jazz notes: "YOURR FUUUCKEDDDD." You aren't going in that "water" to get a disc, period. There is NO bailout. You have one option sans throwing over the lake: toss down the very path you walked up behind the hole.

That's clearly weak, but maybe reasonable, too. (Reminds me of Riverside in MI, those that would skip an entire series of holes, but I digress. And anyway, not a great comparison. No Jag actually "skipped" the hole. They played it, just down an alt path, and with consequences (6's). In MI, people actually picked up their disc and walked on, past many holes. Refused the actual holes. I always wondered, "What score do you give yourself when you don't play a hole?" I think the answer, at minimum, has to be 8. Right?)

Having said that, I threw a terrible forehand. A scared shot. So who am I to say? It crashed waaaaayy right over trees lining the pond, and into a swamp of shit. Andy and Aaron threw their discs sideways, down the pathway we walked to the hole. They declined to try the lake of shit. That's fine, as I posted above.

What about Rob and Mark? Both had huge stones, though different results. They played the hole, as opposed to being weak. Let's go to the tape:

Watching this I realize three things:

1.) My commentary is slightly insane. Maybe drunk?
2.) Mark had the stones to really go for it, and for that, hat tipped.
3.) Look at his expression last frame. Pissed. Cool thing about video is it catches the essence. He is not happy with that shot.

What about Rob? "You got it, you got it!" Sean yells.

Damn, son, Rob with a BALLS shot. This be Kudos. And the round goes on.

Mark in the shitazz. Can you even see him? But Mark recovers well.

This basket is about to fall over. Mark doesn't care. He nails a 25 footer on hole F for birdie. He nails a kick-ass shot (later) on #14 for a major birdie. Pulling a way a bit with his putter.

Blow this up and look back there--Biker disc golfers. In leather chaps even. We Jags found ourselves surrounded by screaming groups, bellowing herds of 8, 9, 10 disc golfers. They all carried one disc each and screamed constantly: WHOOOOOOOOOO, YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS, YOWWWWWWWWWWW, WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE, FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

Pretty epic. And you can't say D golf doesn't bring it out of people. If nothing else, these fuckers were engaged in the game.

As you can see by the scores, I did not play well and the course absolutely kicked the ass of the Cleveland Office. I want to make a special note for Mark here. This course is a snake and a bear, a Snear (pronounced "snare"). Mark got out of trouble. Made two huge bomb putts. Stayed in his game and slayed. So kudos there.

OVERALL WEEKEND

Sean: 3 wins
Mark: 2 wins (one without Cleveland Office, but he shot a score I can safely say would have won with full contingent; and who is say I would get second with the Cleveland Office on the course?)
Mark and Sean: 1 tie for win.

I should tally up all the other 2,3,4 places for everyone but fuck that, you do it, I'm lazy. We are going with wins.

I'll end with a warning. Aaron seems to be a lot better, and the others are sharpening. But the warning is one word for you Jags. The word is Mark. He be forming offshore like a hurricane and he's headed our way.

S

Lincoln Park - Massillon, OH 05-05-2010

2010-05-13T21:20:00.000-07:00

I want to throw some love out to a course that is fast becoming one of my favorites. It has a great mix of length, elevation change, and just a great general mix of holes that you play throughout a round.

Massillon is a small city that sits around 5 miles east of Canton, OH. - around 15 miles south of Akron. It's general claim to fame was it being the home of football coaching great, and the last Cleveland coach to win a major sports championship, Paul Brown. They live and breath football in this city which displayed its football pride with a mural commemorating the game that fills the side of an entire 4 story building in the middle of their downtown area.

The park is fairly easy to access off the main road and following good form, hole one is right off the parking lot. The first thing I notice when I get there is the course has some new signage. This is awesome, because my biggest beef with the course in the past is it can be a bit confusing where the next basket is. The disc golf course winds its way around a rather wooded city park. In some sections where the course goes back and forth it was a little hard to know where to go next. I'm sure we've all come across this at some point or another.
Hole one is the first of many hole where you throw up or down a hill. This hole is 341 ft. up a hole and sits off to the right. I hope to up up with a bomb of a backhand and rocket the disc up the hill. As usual it goes half the distance I want it too and I start off with a bogey.

Hole two is a little hike from Hole one as you pass an old stone picnic pavilion on the right. It is a down hill hole where the hole finishes to the left. It is a natural forehand shot. The real challenge is not to over shoot the hole, because it could sale over the fence behind the hole and then you have to dig it out of some dude's yard.
I missed on the the forehand and landed another bogey.

Hole three is where it starts to get interesting. You have to throw through a bunch of trees and there is no real intended flight path dictated by the hole. It is pretty much a 'hope you can get it through the tree' shot. I throw the low hammer with success and get my first par of the day.

Hole four is a straight forward uphill shot around 237 ft. I par this one.

Hole five is the start of many holes on this course where you can't see the basket from the tee. The hole starts you off having to shoot through a narrow lane of trees. then as the basket sits off the right you have to get it through an opening in the woods and then the basket sits down elevation in a little clearing. I find it hard not to hit something on this hole. I bogey. I tried to approximate where the basket was in the picture with a graphic, so hopefully I do it justice. The hole is listed at 320 ft.

Hole six is a fairly short hole where you get to shoot through the middle of some more woods. This hole is good for birdies if you can land the right shot. I go for a low hammer again and put it in for three.

You have to cross the road to play hole seven. The park lies at a trough of two hills and you have to be wary of the locals screaming by in their pickups. The hole is only 212 ft. but it it is deceptive on how much of an uphill shot it is. The basket actually sits on top of a large mound that sits apart from the hill you are driving off of. I usually try to hit the bottom of the mound and play safe from there. If you over shoot the basket there is a 30 drop-off behind the hole. I get it in three was a bit of luck.

Hole eight is another shot where you throw up the hill. It is a bit more wide open and is probably one of the less interesting holes on the course. I par.

Hole nine reminds me of hole five. It is a forehand shot at 268 ft, downhill and to the right. You have to shoot a couple wooded gaps and then you can put it in the clearing. I muff this one too and bogey again. I'm plus 4 on the front nine, and feeling fortunate, I'm normally much worse.

Hole ten is where my luck begins to turn. This is another blind tee. But once you get past the initial tight corridor off the tee, it is a basic hyzer shot. I execute with my Buzz for my first birdie of the day.

Hole Eleven then comes and bitch slaps me. It is 394ft downhill shot to the right. This is another hole where you can't see the basket from the tee. I can open up with a big forehand here. To my dismay my trusty Star Wraith fails to turn over. I ended way to the left . My birdie high turns into a bogey low.

Hole twelve maybe one of the funnest on the course lifts my spirits. This is a great downhill hyzer shot to the basket which finishes near the road. There is a small water hazard if you over shoot the basket. I throw a DX Beast the zooms to within 15 ft. of the hole and I put it in for two.

Hole thirteen wants you to shoot through some trees and over the top of a hill to the basket on the other side. You end of near some neighbor's farmhouse and their dog will sit and stare at you, but thankfully not bark. I par.

Hole fourteen is one of the longer holes on the course at around 450 ft. You start at the top of a hill and need to shoot through a gap in the woods and get to the top of another hill . The basket then sits behind a huge tree. I'm not sure how I par this on my best day. I bogey.

Hole fifteen is another blind uphill shot to a basket that sits behinds some tree. Fairly open so if you don't blow the drive, you should be good. I par.

Hole sixteen is a blast. You start at the top of a hill and shoot down the middle of a small ravine to a basket that lies in the middle of a steep slope 260 ft. away. I pinball my way up to the basket. I end up behind the basket with s steep 15 ft. put for bogey. My Challenger slams in the chains and then rolls out the back of the basket. a wonderful double-bogey for me.

Hole seventeen is 360 feet and requires you to throw over the same ravine you just played hole 16 in. You need enough arm to clear the ravine and enough finesse to clear the trees in your way. The basket lies in a clearing surrounded by several tall tree. I par.

Hole eighteen is another great downhill shot with the basket on the other side of a small creek and near the road. I fail to get my forehand to turn over and finish with four. A slightly disappointing end to a mostly good day.

I finish +7 for the round which is a personal best for me at the park. Unfortunately the weather has turned rather sucky and I haven't disc golfed since.