Yes, Disc will play in Peoria

10 rounds of disc golf is too much to rightly blog. It would be like Infinite Jest, but with discs hitting trees with footnotes of deep ravines, hotel pizza, cub scouts, steep hills, and water. So I’ll give you some stats, a glimpse at the courses, a smattering of round spotlights, and various photos and such. Some highlights and low-lights (an interesting duality of term—someone’s low-light might be another’s highlight. Etc.) So. A mini-blog I hope you will enjoy. Leonard and Ander have a bunch more videos and photos, so might be another update on the way! I'd like to see some of that material. (** Wait, I added some from Ander. See update below.)

Disclaimer: If anyone wants to question a score or anything, just ask. I have the scorecards. 10 rounds is fucking blur, and this weekend exhausted my arm and mind (not to mention toe blisters).

COURSES

McNaughton Park.

Northwood Park.

Lake Eureka.

OVERALL RESULTS

*Leonard did not play last round.

SEAN: 8 wins, 1 second place, 1 third place.

ANDER: 1 win, 6 second place, 1 third place, 2 fourth place.

LEONARD: 1 win, 2 second place, 2 third place, 4 fourth place.

MARK: 0 win, 4 second place, 3 third place, 3 fourth place.

RANDOM STATS

(Again, remember, Leonard played one less round.)

BIRDIES:

Sean: 34

Ander: 26

Mark: 21

Leonard: 18

DOUBLE BOGEYS:

Sean: 4

Ander: 10

Leonard: 10

Mark: 18

* There were also several 6's, 7's and one SNOWMAN. Haven't seen a Jag Snowman in a good while. I will keep the identities anonymous, though I would note EVERY player had at least one "6" or higher score during the weekend. All of us. So. These courses will bite your ass.

HIGHLIGHTS AND LOW-LIGHTS

* No AC in my Subaru. I paid $100+ to fill the freon up, but it didn't take. Humidity. Sticky back, sticky. Wind roars through open windows. Too bad because we could have played tunes. Oh well.

* (UPDATE 5-23-11: Just got Ander's pics and his phone pics are clearer than mine. Sort of pisses me off. Also, he's just a better photographer. These shots are epic. He has a good disc eye. Will now scatter them into this post. So this might actually now be a kick-ass post. Thanks, A. Example of great pic!)

* Ander gave us books and mix tapes. Hey, Mark, I want that issue of Fugue when you are done.

* Leonard made us score cards! Kick ass, and thanks. It really makes a difference.

* Car of teens comes over blind hill and tries to kill us head-on. But it swerves and we swerve and we all live.

* McNaughton Park a dream. Or a nightmare? Round one. Windy! Also, we don't really know the course. Windy.

S: +6

A: + 9

M: + 9

L: + 11

Approach shot, deceptively downhill. Mark throws his ace disc Glide. It glides, into a murky-ass pond. We never see it again. Goodbye, blue Glide, you were a good friend to Mark.

(In better days, a nostalgic Blue Glide photo for Mark...)

* It went right over there, by that turtle. Notice how I recreate Mark's shot to locate the disc. That's pretty dorky.

*Hole 18 is 849 feet long! Ander and I actually 4 this hole, once each. I feel we should be proudly.

* Crowd evaporates from course for round two. Sweet. I use my course knowledge from round one. Actually round the 9 at -2. Mark parks a birdie on hole 2. Leonard makes an ace run on same hole, over the top. Course knowledge pays as the group goes from 3 birdies collectively in round one to 6 birdies this round. I throw this bad boy below. Note that Ander labels the video McCullough and says my drive looks "pretty good." Ok. He's drunk.

Round two:

S: + 1

A: +10

L: + 11

M: + 14

* Drive to Morton, where Leonard skids off the road during a hair-pin curve. Gravel dust clouds and such. We end up playing more rounds at Northwood than any other course. Northwood is long and very tech at first, then this series of medium-tech accuracy turnovers with a few hyzers. It ends with two bomb holes. So, it has everything. Hole 5 is a real stand-out hole on this course, a true signature hole. Jags par it sometimes and then often make 6's, for example. You have to drive through this:

Then land down here and make an upshot over a down-cliff and around a creek and then the very long turnover putt through thorns/shrubbery like Ander. I sort of dig his fist-pump and barbaric yawp! He deserves it. Awesome putt, A.

You know what? Hell, let me just show you the entire hole. L lets one ride into the void.

* Round 3 Northwood:

S: + 1

A: + 4

M: + 5

L: + 9

* Round 4 Northwood. Mark tightens up his game. He has a weird bogey/birdie round going. He is also apparently blessed by gods. Framed up by the sun. Glow on, Mark!

S: EVEN

M: + 3

L: + 5

A: + 8

* Hotel delivery pizza. Jalapenos make even shitty pizza good. My theory.

* Up early and we head to Lake Eureka. This ends up being our favorite course. Super-techy, with amazing, shape-shot holes, elevation change, chances for birdies. L to R, R to L. Gorges and water. Stinging Nettles. Chances for glory. Chances for doom.

Glory! (That is one of many made Leonard putts.)

Doom! (That is a deep ravine.)

* Round Five Eureka:

S: + 2

L: + 5

M: + 7

A: + 7

* My favorite hole of the weekend. A gem. Hole # 4. Click and blow this one up and see that basket waaayyyyy down there, over a small creek, on a massive hillside. Epic. Fun. Epic fun.

This is the sort of hole you want to watch your disc once you throw. Show us, Mark:

* Round 6 Eureka. OK, I have my beer on now. My putting buzz. Time to go low. I throw a turkey run of birdies. I bomb hole 8 from WAY out. Another highlight is Ander actually hitting the pin low on hole 12, probably the closest ace run of the weekend.

* Hammer, for Rob. You would have loved and hated this course, Rob.

S: -4

A: + 2

M: + 7

L: + 8

* Mediocre diner food. My slaw as a soup. Ander does get a very solid milkshake. We head back to Northwood. My reign of wins ends. Must have been the slaw. Leonard with the win! This would be round from the opening photo--Mark on his belly.

* Or: Where is Mark's disc?

* Cub scouts all over. Sirens off in the distance. Cars keep honking horns. Who knows?

* Round 7 Northwood. Two Jags play well, two do not. I think I had indigestion, or was drunk, or both.

L: + 2

A: + 6

S: + 7

M: + 14

* Round 8 Northwood

* Some Jesus dude wants to play with us. We say no. He is insistent. We say no. Well, Ander said no. Actually, I noticed Ander barking at a lot of people, to get out of our fairway, to play through, etc. I was impressed. I mean he kindly but firmly barked. I bet he learned that in Tucson, where D golfers play a round with their rottweilers. Good work.

* Mark throws a disc INTO the basket and it sticks on the rim. OK...

S: + 2

L: + 5

M: +5

A: + 7

* Loud fat kid keeps yelling out "40!!"

* The world was supposed to end while we were playing disc. It did not end. I have mixed feelings.

* My legs feel like Jello.

* Good form, sir.

* We have an ace fund but no one has aced, so we go CTP. Weird how relatively talented the Jags are and we rarely ace. The last competition ace I have seen was Ander's on one of the hardest Baraboo holes. That was actually a crazy ace. Uphill through a tree gap. That hole is impossible, but we have not seen one since, have we? Let's fix that in Ann Arbor. But Leonard and I try; we both throw it very close, but Leonard wins CTP!! $$. Congrats.How many times has L won this thing? Maybe sour grapes talking. Not sure I have ever won the $$ CTP with Jags.

Round 9 Northwood. A tight round so very fun. Mark actually shoots under the front 9. Leonard plays well then explodes on 17, 18. I throw up my first 6 of the weekend. Vomit. Ander does a birdie three in a row run! I noticed how he tightened his game as we went along, round 1-10. Winner, winner, turkey dinner.

* Ander wins round by getting out places like this...

A: + 1

S: + 2

M: +4

L: + 7

* We say bye to Leonard. Thanks for the weekend, man!

* Mark, Ander, and I meet in seedy hotel bar. Do shots. Eat pizza and burgers and such. Get lit. Feels good.

* Get up Sunday. Someone put alcohol in my drinks. Why did they? Head a bit wobbly. Lobby is full of women in purple dresses.

* Round Ten Eureka. Ander and I go low. Jags getting locked in. Word.

S: -3

A: -1

M: + 6

* Flash a ring, Ander:

* And Mark drains a uphill, longish bird. Nice putt.

* What can you say? Peoria AMAZING. Might even be a future Jag tourney destination? Huh, huh? Huh?

See you kids in Arbor.

S

Matter Park (with ace alert) 2011

Woke hungover. Sorry. I have one week off before summer classes and have been drinking beer and watching NBA. What a day. Sun like a sedan. Skipped breakfast, as is my way. Drove to Matter Park in Marion, IN to meet two Jags, Mark and Matt. (A very new Jag. Is he on probation for a year? Do we haze him? Like maybe each Jag should drive his car over Matt's putter? Not sure how that works but for now I make him carry my disc bag and call me Colonel Lovelace.)

I got my times screwed up so arrived an hour early. Oh well, really nothing blar with being at a D golf course early. I just practiced some medium-length putts. Flash a ring, baby.



Matt and Mark arrive and we begin. First thing, Matter Park looks excellent, very impressive. The woods used to be gnarly, with earthen tees, no signs. Not now. The local club, The Flying Aces, have done a shit-load of work, and the course is manicured, tight, beautiful, with great tees, signage, and the always kick-ass catchability Spider Baskets from HOF Allen Pier. My only complaints was maybe they cleared out too much brush, but much of that will grow back in--it's still early season. I would also prefer tee signs BEHIND the tee pads, not in front, but now I'm getting picky about an excellent course.

Example of Spider:
Look at all those chains, and the basket deep like a clawfoot bathtub. You need that on some of these holes. Baked dirt, sloping hills--you want the disc to REMAIN in the basket. Example:

Imagine how a missed putt rolls here...

Onto ROUND ONE:

Hole one rather ordinary. A 302 foot R to L hyzer (You could argue this course has to many R to L. Just ask Matt, a left hander) into a hidden pocket of woods, basket tucked inside. We all easily par. Then you enter the woods.

Holes 2-6 are deep in woods, mostly short, with a lot of trees, pockets of thickets, technical shots. A really fun time. A place you need to make birdies, but might easily make bogey or worse.

Here is hole # 2, a turnover you MUST get past that big tree in the center. Some of this reminds me of Heistand. This hole possibly an example of where they cleared out too much of the thickets and shaazz-up, etc. Hard to say. It's a personality thing, it's nuanced. But you don't want sanitary and you don't want impossible, right? I guess I'm saying I want things to grow in a bit more here. I like a little hot sauce with my cheese.



Hole 6. Narrow fairway, trees right off pad. You better know those two trees are in the mind.

Matt threads the needle. And here is Mark in the woods:




He makes a tricky downhill putt. That's my drive in front of him. Why yes, I would birdie. We handle the woods fine, and I actually string together birdies on 3, 4, and 5. Mark has a couple of wood birdies, too. Matt plays OK, except for hole 3, where he double-burgers. Hole 3 is nasty, 254 feet through a narrow uphill chute that then falls off hard to the left, downhill. So we exit the woods and head back out into the park, to hole 7.

Hole 7 is 266 feet, a R to L hyzer, with some weird gravel pit in front. You want to clear that pit. I throw a low, tight Beast, it clears the gravel and skips hard and....

ACCCCCCCCCCCCCCEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!

My first skip-ace ever, thank you kindly. I have always wanted a skip-ace, ever since I saw Ander do it twice, at Old Farm. (BTW, people rate Farm course 2.9 on that site and they are absolutely full of shit.)

Happy, happy. This seems to fuel my round and I continue to shoot low. Matter Park opens up into sprawling holes, and then a few more woody tech one through gaps. Example:

This is hole 14, only 190, but creek on L and OB on R and a narrow shaft through those trees. Hole 15 is much the same. Then, oh, hole 16, 433 foot pain in the ass through massive trees, with creek behind hole. I bogey there, but everything else is tight. Matt picks up lots of bogeys on the back, while Mark plays a steady round, mostly pars.

Sean - 7 Mark +1 Matt + 7

ROUND TWO

Round two, we all played very close to one another. In fact, at the turn we were:

Mark -1, Sean EVEN, Matt EVEN.

That makes for a fun round.

Then Matt did some of this:

Watch out for that tree! Matt would explode a bit on the back 9, just as he did on the first round. Something for Matt to consider. But Matter back 9 is tough, no doubt.

And Mark went some of this:

Is that a construction zone?! Mark would double burger here, hole 11, 446 yards of pain. Toughest hole on the course I would argue.

And I just sort of bobbled along, par, par, par, blar. Most impressive was Mark's response to his double bogey. His round was nuts, with two 5's yet he shot a good score. A testament to his talent and resilience. He pounced back immediately, with several birdies. In the end, his birdie on hole 15 sealed the deal:

Mark EVEN Sean +1 Matt + 6

Matter's holes 17 and 18 really hurt the course. They are ordinary, and not a place to swap shots. Most every other Matter hole is unique, fun, with an ability to birdie or bogey. I really enjoy this course. So. I would like to say something in words, as if in stone:

THANK YOU MATTER PARK.

Beautiful Things April 29, 2011

Mark and I went to Boondocks on Friday. Remember Boondocks? I have blogged it before, so no need to take you on a tour, but just a quick update. I want to blog more, Jags, as a reminder that the season is here! Dust off your bags and sharpen your Sharpies. Finally, a wonderful hint of spring in Indiana. The sun! I showed up early and took the photo above. Nothing here is photo-shopped--that is the actual finger of of God blessing the sport of disc golf. A shard of sunlight pointing our way to the basket. Amazing.

We play 3 rounds on a very manicured Boondocks. Impressive, since Boondocks can be sketchy at times. But still plenty of thorns and such. Brushy-brush, actual man-made walls. See below:

Mark peers through...

First round:

Remember that rainy time in Michigan when Rob stepped out of the car and bombed a 100 foot putt for birdie on the first hole? That's what I did. Ching!

Mark made a looonng putt, too, on hole # 7, a bomb down the hill and into the basket.

I played steady with one bogey, many pars, a smattering of birds. Mark played what we call a "Phil Mickelson" round. What does that mean? It means a ton of birdies, then a ton of bogeys and double-burgers. Wild scoring.

SEAN: -2 MARK: + 1

Second round:

Mark threw a shot down a massive hill and smoooshed the disc between the top of the basket and a number sign. Never seen that one, at least that I remember. It made a sound like a plastic turd. Wedged thing.


We both sort of played flat the second round. We talked a lot and lost a bit of focus, but that's part of disc golf, too, you know, to hang out and just enjoy your pals and throw the discs around. It was a relaxed round, a bit shaky. We spent a lot of time in the shrubbery. But we did arrive at 18 tied at +3. Drama!!

What will Sean and Mark do?

Sean will throw a hammer into the thickest fucking thorny-ass area in the world. Yes! Choke! Mark will par and says thank you kindly.

A hammer for Rob!

SEAN: +4 MARK: + 3

Third Round:

I went low this round. Mark birdied # 7 again, not an easy feat. Unfortunately, he also had a murder of bogeys. I was quite happy to birdie # 18, since I faltered there in round two.

SEAN: -5 MARK: + 3

And now for a beautiful, beautiful video. Look at the clouds! The greenery! Listen to the singing birds! Oh, joy! And that long putt...just like a jag.

What Rain?

Michigan Disc Deluge

The silver Subaru meet at Rolling Hills. The skies gray soap and a bit low. The Jag contingent? A bit giddy/high, as in high on about-to-play-D-golf.

Rob shows up, shakes hands, and bombs a 100+ foot putt on hole #1 for birdie. Apparently, Rob doesn't need any warm-up. Kudos, sir.

Hey Rob, is that a hammer?


Another highlight is when we are in the techy stretch. A blind shot through a tree-tunnel. I throw the trusty (ace X 2 disc) Stingray and it slither-flies, turns over the rise, then chains, chains, chains--I run after! My heart goes modem! Then I stumble and slow. It's a kick-out. Sitting there like a neon cow patty.

If you click on the pic you'll see an orange/yellow disc right of the pin. That was indeed my drive.

On we go...

Rolling Hills is, naturally, rolling hills, then techy shots, then big-ass long techy shots, then some motherfuckers! My favorite holes were probably 14 and 15. 14 was a long straight drive down a chute, then a 45 degree right turn up a hill. Andy actually has a par putt on this hole. None of us par the hole. We will take our bogeys.

Another great hole is 15, a R to L major DROPOFF, huge elevation change, amazing hole.

Wow. This hole is so steep that it has a rope assist-line thing on the L side, to hold onto as you descend the hill. Dat be wicked. The cool thing about holes 14-18 on this course is how many strokes competitors could exchange. I mean the course leaps up and fangs you on this stretch. Smart design.


Patented Andy flick on I think hole 5 or something. Basket tucked under that tree. Andy had that forehand pretty grooved.

Sean -2 Mark + 2 Rob + 7 Andy +7

Then rain. Big buckets of fat cold drops of rain. Suck-ass rain. 99 red balloons of rain. The type of rain that makes you squishy and scaly and cursing and shiver. We go get lunch. Ann arbor Noodle shop. I ate the penis of a crab, in some form of fish broth. Wasn't too bad, actually.

What in the fuck kind of place is Cass Benton?

(It's raining hard now. Steady and really fucking cold. I feel like a slug. Fuck it. We play.)

Here are some reviews of Cass:

Poorly respected by the people there to put it simply. Each tee is surrounded by a mound of cigarette butts and bottle caps. A ton of hole signs are missing.

Some people smoking the magic tobacco openly, people please smoke it before or after your game. i watched as a dog ran up and stole some guys disc.

Douchebag circus kind of covers it. From over-privileged kiddie punks to obnoxious adults to vagabond rapist-looking weirdos who seem to wander from time to time, there' s a little of everything. Also besides the human trash, there's the trash on the ground. Litter is everywhere, and vandalism rampant.

OK...

Well here's what the trails look like:

Honestly, this place scared me. We were very fortunate to play in a cold rain, since this kept most people away. The holes were shredded, tagged with paint (who tags trees?), vandalized, and giant trees had fallen all over the place. Giant Tinker Toys. Shards of glass. Smoldering piles of burnt earth (I'm not kidding). Stagnant pools of black. Powerline poles bent and knocked over, with lines on the ground. No one seemed to care about multiple power lines on the ground. I mean it looked like King Kong made a visit, drunk. What happened at this course?

However...the disc golf was actually glow.

There were open bombs:


Then long impossible-techy holes, big-ass trees, little trees, spindly trees, culverts, power lines, creeks, picnic tables in creeks, major elevation changes, party people, chutes (even a thread-the-needle hole), litter, litter, litter.

Is this techy enough for you?


Or this? There is no fairway. Where is Ander and his axe when you need him?


On hole one we let these douche bag circus kids play through (both looked like wet rats). One kid just stood talking on a cellphone on the tee. He looked dazed. I was thinking animal tranquilizer. He mumbled into the phone, "Come on out. It's just a drizzle." This was a brave lie.

They asked us to join them. We, uh, declined.

I later saw the same kid perched atop a tree. Mark almost knocked him out of the tree. I'm not joking. Then the kids vanished. I imagine many people vanish at this park. Bye.

Vastly interesting disc golf. Variety, all the shots. Oddly, it's good disc golf, just in a bizarre setting. Rain, rain, rain--cold. My skin shriveled up and my teeth actually chattered. It sucked. But it was fun. Especially for Mark.

Mark + 3 Sean + 6 Rob + 6 (yep, Rob tied me) Andy + 13

Well, the Cleveland crew bailed on us. Man. Well. Well, it was wet as fuck, I'll give them that. But come on, Jags! So they drive away, and guess what--it stops raining.

WTF?

Mark and I play another round.

Mark + 1
Sean + 6

This round Mark threw a disc sort of near (though not really) a group of two women/two men huddled over something (use your imagination) and one woman kept yelling at Mark, "You didn't say fore! You didn't say fore!"

You didn't say fore!

You didn't say fore!

Whatever. It was funny how Mark handled the situation. He just totally ignored her, like she was a chattering squirrel. And really, wasn't she?

Did I mention Mark slipped and busted his ass on a shot? Pretty cool. Usually I do that. I laughed.

It's getting all shadowy and blue. Darkness. We play on.

Clearly, Sean sucks at Cass Benton. And Mark seems to own the damn place. I mean WTF? I have noticed I lost my mind at Mississinewa when it was flooded. Now I lose my game during cold rain. Is that mental weakness? I wonder. I'd like to play well in ALL conditions. Who knows?

BTW, do you see anything funny about hole 15? Typical Cass...

Mark is laughing because that basket is as high as his waist. It's a midget basket. Note where the shaft of the pin is--buried feet into sand. Very odd.

Well. We leave. Get lost. Eat pizza. Go to sleep. Go play BLACK LOCUST!!


Wow, Black Locust. 27 wonderful, wonderful holes. 27! Damn. We pay huge fees, have to pay even more fees, drive to offices to get wrist bands, etc. OK. But I'm not complaining. This course is GaGa.


Including this early one, up a hill, over beautifully sculpted bonsai evergreens, a framed-up startle of a disc golf hole. You see these things and want to weep. (Or yelp with envy--this layout/topo made my home course look like a turd).

We keep seeing odd holes in Michigan. These courses have personality.

Yes, it is bolted into a tree stump.

Sean + 6 mark + 12

I can't explain this course. Like garden of Eden material. Just awe. Every shot needed. Every distance. Variations. R to L. L to R. BOMBS. Finesse. Up the hill, down the hill. Big serpentine turnover fairways. Narrow tech fairways. Beauty.

Wow.


Wow.

That's pretty much what I can say about Michigan D golf.

Wow.

Good to see u Cleveland jags! And good work, Mark. He beat me down at Cass.

Good to throw.

Glow.

S

Oh, postscript. On the way home we stopped for gas. Mark bought a publication made up entirely of Cass Benton local players.

I shit you not.



S

Happy Day in Muncie

Went out at 9am for a few rounds at McCulloch with Sean and our friend Matt. By 10am it's Africa hot with humidity like pea soup. We are sweating balls but throwing well. I think the first round Sean was -3 or -4, Mark -1, Matt +5.

Second round. Skies are darkening. Sean checks the weather on his i-phone and things look sketchy. We don't care. Earlier in the week Sean and I discussed a study that looked into the reason men get hit by lightning more than women. Results of that study: Men are stupid. More on that later.

Round two: Interesting front nine, including a hole where Matt says something bad about Catholicism, then has a beautiful long putt fall in the basket, sit there for a beat, then literally jump out of the basket onto the ground. Mysterious forces are definitely at work.

We roll up to hole #11.

The basket is 240 a bit uphill. There are two ways to go at this thing. A hyzer way up in the air that goes around the big tree on the right and feeds to the basket. Or a low straight shot right at the hole. Sean likes the big hyzer. I've seen him hit the basket twice in the last two weeks with this shot. Once he hit the top, once he hit the bottom. I figure he's going to ace this bad boy soon.

Lately I've been trying the low line drive. I pull out my beloved blue Glide and let it rip. Things look good. Behind me Sean says, "That's in," and a second later it gets inhaled by chains. I jump and yell and dance.


My second ace ever, and my first with witnesses. This smile stays on my face for some time.

At hole 14 it gets very dark. Big thunder. Sean checks the i-phone and the news isn't good. As we walk up the fairway on 15 the downpour starts. We play 16 and 17 in massive headwind and good-sized-hail. I have the idea that if we don't finish the round the ace doesn't count. We're completely drenched. My bag has an inch of water in the bottom. We're going to finish the damn round.

We do. I shake like a wet dog and drive on home.

How Jags Drive & Other Tidbits

No big blog post since we were all there. But here's how we drive Hole 1 Lustig:










This is a disc I found at Heistand:

Here is the giant turnover shot by L that continually buzzed the basket.



Here are we. See you next year, and looking forward to the stats!

Jags.