Cincy Trifecta: Mt Airy, Idlewild, Banklick.

Are we ready...?

Mark and I rolled into The Nati (also the name of the local pro shop). Mark has GPS now so doesn't get lost all of the time, except for when he ignores the GPS or just doesn't listen to the English woman's voice. It's weird knowing a Mark who isn't always lost. I guess that's progress, but I am nostalgic for the bewildered, mumbling Mark, his head on a swivel, searching, searching, as we take yet another extremely wrong turn.

First course is Mount Airy.

Established in 1993, it has the pro shop (owned by a local pro) and wonderful hardwoods and valleys and grassy stretching alleys, and also a two-lane driving range area with a net to catch your disc. Never seen that before.



Ander right into a giant fishing net!

Ander arrived and then Aaron and Rob. We learn that Andy had E Bola virus or some shit. Lots of beer exchanged. Aaron can make some wicked-ass beer, I'll say that.

Now onto the course...

Of all the courses, I remember Mount Airy the least, which says less about this course and more about the next two. I found Mount Airy to be very good, with several great holes, but also many that were just OK. Like all the courses we played, design was obvious--you had to THINK your way around these courses. If you decided to let your mind wander, you paid in blood.



Hole 1 is a 512 foot shot up that hill you see, with cars on the left and shizazz on the right. You MUST make the top of that ridge to have a shot down and right to a tucked basket. The basket is surrounded by blown-down trees, rip-rap, shrubbery, a distressed forest look, and this was common for the course. If you were in the woods, it was clunky woods.

Most of Mount Airy is grassy winding fields. LONG shots, with OB in play every hole (usually in form of a serpentine road, or a parking lot). Example HERE:















This is hole 5, easily the most bitch-ass hole on the course. 700 feet long. OB on left, total stickemup/thorny/trees on the right. IF you land in the fairway, it is meaningless here. Your next shot will be through a wall of trees, with, wait for it, OB on left, total stickemup/thorny/trees on the right. The highlight of the round happened on this hole. Mark hit a truck, hard, with a champion plastic driver. Wow!

You want to see what I mean by hardest hole? Here are the scores for our quintet on this one hole:

Aaron: 5. Ander: 5. Mark: 7. Rob: Snowman! Sean: 5

You got it now?

At the turn, we had a big battle of bunched folks (Mark +11, Aaron +9, Rob +12) and I (+7) was trying to figure out how to catch Ander (+3). He was playing very tight and I wasn't putting so well, so was a bit discouraged about my chances for a rally.

Other highlights? Rob made a bomb putt on 3. Ander got a par run going holes 6-12. Unless you played this course, you can't understand how impressive this feat. Hole 15 was beautiful, a manicured sweeping L to R at 560 feet--it looked like a ball golf par 3 hole. Not sure why I didn't take a photo. After 15, we all got VERY lost, skipped a hole, and spent maybe 30 minutes figuring out what the hell was going on.

Here is one of the only tech holes, 16, a 404 arrow shot through woods, ravine on the right. You want a slight R to L shot, going long. Aaron is clearly throwing the wrong type of shot here. He will pay.



So, that was Mt. Airy, ending--oddly--on an innocuous 320 foot turnover shot. Mark missed about a 10 foot (or less?) putt here, which made a difference, as you will see. Ander tried to cough up a few strokes on the back nine, but I couldn't catch him, as you will see. The course is fucking tough to score on, as you will see...

Aaron +20 (ouch) Ander +7 (a hell of a score for this course) Mark +19 Rob +19 Sean + 10 (double figures! fuck me)

Let's move on, to the SHIT! The mother-fracker of all courses. The Kentucky Whore, Idlewild!

Rated 5 of 5 stars!

Comments of other players include:

"It can be a bit of a confidence breaker."

"...it can be both mentally and physically devastating."

"Don't bring your beginner friends."

Well, fuck you, Idlewild! We aren't beginners! Bring it! Come on, punk! What you got, huh?! This is Sean Lovelace, representing Muncie, Central Indiana in your Skizzy, so eat my plastique, fool! Whoa...wait a minute, is hole one 640 feet long and am I in a gnarly tree right now?



Yep. Hmmm...Are you people ready for some higher math? There will be a 1001 foot hole (and, you know, 640, 672, a 609). There will be a 9 on the scorecard (and all kinds of 7's). Multiple discs lost. That type of mathematics.

Idlewild is an odd course, with LONG winding, turnover shots (very few hyzers), up massive hills, along multiple OB creeks and tree-lines and embankments (the layout people went a little nuts with OB on this course) and then a smattering of little tech holes, like 142, 190, 240 foot holes. You need very shot here, but, as I said, a turnover is essential, or a very tight forehand. You MUST get your birdies on these tech holes!



Mark on hole 5, a 510 foot thinking man's shot. You MUST land your drive down in that wooded valley. Everything around the landing area is OB. IF you land correctly, you will now play directly uphill through a tight chute of forest. Mark played this hole well, landing his disc perfectly. Most of us threw OB here.

Mark also had what I consider the par of the course. This hole. How sweet is that Y tree you have to drive through? Mark crushed one thru the Y.



But wait until you see the landing area...


OB behind. OB in the creek. You MUST land on that fucking dinner plate. Mark does, for par. Note the funeral wreath on the bridge.

At the turn, scores resemble Mt. Airy, three bunched up (Aaron +14, Mark +12, Rob +14), Ander out in front (+5) and me in striking range, but back (+9).

Let's move to hole 15, 1001 feet!



All the flowers are OB, as Rob knows. Rob would throw his drive OB. Then his second shot OB. Then his third shot OB. Then...oh, you get the idea. Smoke curled from his nostrils, etc. The sun was high. And those wildflowers lining the OB are not a joke. Note how tall as Ander walks through them on a path.




And if you do make it down this 1001 foot fairway, here is your approach to the green:



Have fun with that one. Everything R or L or long is...OB!

We stagger home. Fuck, we stagger. We limp. Bleeding, disrobed, torn in the psyche, in the flesh.

Aaron +29 Ander + 12 Mark + 20 Rob + 30 Sean + 16

Wow. Did we play Idlewild, or did it play us? I wouldn't want this as my home course. Just too much, but am very happy to have played here.

Well, that's Day One. TWO rounds in one day! I hope that tells you something about these courses. We put in some mileage, and hard throw after hard throw. You had to focus. You had to bring out all the shots, L to R, R to L, hammer, etc. It was truly disc golf.

As for scoring, no one really putted that well today. Ander took control of both rounds, and I could never catch him. He played especially well at Airy, where you feel he could probably post a truly great score if he had another opportunity. I putted for shit, and I am sick of addressing putting. I am just going to play the rest of the year and quit mentally freaking out. For now, my putt is what it is, poor. Aaron seems to have an improved forehand. Rob was launching his disc all over the fucking place, but made several recovery par putts. Mark improved as time passed, actually playing Idlewild better than Airy (not score-wise, but shot-wise).

We went to downtown Cincy and drank beer. I ate some shitty fish and chips. They used salmon. That sounds novel, but is stupid. You need a white, flaky fish for fish n chips, not fucking salmon. Well, you live and learn.

Day two: Banklick (Lincoln Ridge)

A bit hungover, but the day is sunny and fresh and ready for D golf.

Lincoln Ridge was a totally different experience than the first two courses. Much shorter (though still plenty of length), many more birdie chances, but also MUCH more techy, and I mean tech--ridiculous elevation changes, rivers lining holes, thick forest, dense brush, stray dogs, narrow, narrow fairways. While some holes were out in fields, even those had baskets tucked into shot-making areas. You needed all your shots here, period. Also, this was 24 holes, so stamina and, again, mental focus was key.



Here is one example, hole one. Looks open, but not so. The basket is tucked way down deep in the edge of the woods (we will visit those woods in a meaningful way later) and this is a massive downhill shot, so you have to have skill and experience to understand what your disc will do in this situation.

Here is classic Lincoln Ridge tech hole. Note river on right. Slope on left that feeds to gravel to river. Only Rob would throw a hammer here. It ended up fine.



At the turn:

Aaron +1 Ander +3 Mark +1 Rob +3 Sean -1

As you can see, most everyone is playing well now. Birdies are out there. Then again, so are bogies...or, you know, 6's.

Take this hole. My nightmare. Where I attempt a radically downhill putt with a Birdie putter built like a plastic wheel. I was cruising along at EVEN when I attempted this putt.



Now I am not even. I am down here...and steaming.



This "green" is indicative of many at this course, especially in the woods. Hard baked elevation/descent/gravity.

After the tight woods, the first 18 ends (remember, this is 24 holes). Our scores?

Aaron +9 Ander +7 Mark +5 Rob +9 Sean +2

As you can see, the scores go shooting up! Possibly fatigue? Or maybe the course toughens.

Six holes to go! These final holes in the fields, but you do need to shape shots and trouble abounds. Ander driving well, but then three putts a short birdie opportunity. I launch a disc way ass out in the road. Both Ander and Mark get stuck up in trees. Rob throws a disc far into a road and almost takes out a SUV. Here he is climbing back into play.



So, we conclude:


Aaron +15 Ander +12 Mark +11 Rob +14 Sean +4.

Yes, the Muncie boyz finally represent! Then again, we do love tech, and for overall weekend play, Ander was the sharpest. He had several impressive bomb drives. Aaron has improved, especially the forehand. And Rob was in trouble, a lot, but always seemed to be able to rally back the next hole, or the next (for example, at Mt Airy, answering a 6 score with a 3 the very next hole). Mark played steady, good long drives, but I have seen him putt better (in fact, he's been on recent roll). Had he been putting a bit better, he would have shot much lower.

Well, WOW to Cincy golf. I am scarred but happy. And, with good fortune, we will return!

We missed you, Andy. Get well.

Holler in the Motherfucking HILLS

Y'all will soon see the official blogpost for the jag meetup in Cleveland, minus, sadly, one Andy Segedi, who contracted some kind of crazy staph infection in a suspicious way from his work at unnamed insurance company X (who, predictably, will certainly try to weasel out of responsibility). So he stuck at home, sad, thinking good thoughts for his homies, who showed well in Cincinnati. Rock.

So I figured I'd try out this course that's been getting crary reviews on the dgcoursereview site, Holler in the Hills. It's in the middle of nowhere. Took me about an hour to get to, though it's sort of close to Bowling Green, KY, which, uh, has the Corvette Museum, and that is about all. And a crap holiday Inn where I'm staying that is also hosting the Kentucky Sheriffs' Association's yearly convention so there are a lot of big dudes in cop cars, which, though I haven't feared the cops in years at this point, still makes me nervous.

Holler is hard to find. Very easy to miss turns. I end up some woman's yard, and she comes out with a shotgun and an angry spaniel. I kid about the shotgun only. I eventually find it. You have to call first. I call. No one is there. It's $5 to play all day. Players have to sign a waiver to play. They have score cards and a handy 3-page handout that tells you all about the holes. 

What you should understand immediately about this course is that this is some home-schooled, DIY disc golf experience. Shit is rough. Shit is country. This ain't no nice public park. Don't get me wrong, it's well-groomed (mostly), but the dudes who run it are perfectly happy to just make some crazy shit (see the school bus on hole 6) happen. All the baskets that are by the river are about 2 feet from the fucking river. There are baskets on 3 huge rocks. On one hole you throw from a huge rock to another huge rock. Anyhow. Needless to say I wore my long pants and long-sleeve shirt. The waiver freaked me out about the snakes and bugs and ticks and coon hounds and Burt Reynolds and you get the idea. Christ.

Hole 1 starts you out fairly easy:

or maybe that's just the sign going down to the tee. Here's the tee:

A nice little hyzer shot up a slight incline to the left. Throw it straight. 270' or so. But there's the deathwater on the right, which makes you think before you throw... and griplock into the weeds... and find-ah the Jesus-ah. Actually, I par this hole. No need for salvation yet.

Hole 2 is also pretty reasonable, except the basket is on the right, on the very edge before the thing drops off. It's very pretty. Clear shot.

Hole 2's basket, like Hole 3's, is right up against some brackish fricking water after a fifteen foot dropoff into the riverbed:

I play it too safe, and the putt scares me. Another par. Hole 3 is a great one. Probably one of the best on the course, and one of the only real long bombers. Witness:

Here's what you need to know. The hole is 740'. It's 320' to the gap on the right, which is the only gap in the huge wall of trees. It is also right against the water.

It is also a ditch:

So you can lose the hell out of your disc down there. Or you can try to bomb it over the wall, which is what I do. I do not succeed. I do manage to get enough through it so I have a shot out, but not one I can get anything on. Two shots and I'm 100' past the trees. Eh. Note where the basket is, another good huck (plus) and the approach to the hole is a solid 100' under the cover. Did I mention the water on the right?

Hmm. This is my sweet new Glide. Obviously I am getting it but it takes me a while. A random dog comes along to frolic but will not help. They have a nice 20' pole on the bank for this particular situation. I spend about ten minutes and nudge it to a place where I can get it. Apparently this hole is a pro par 5. I get a 6. Woulda been fine without the agua. So it goes.

Dude who runs the course comes over. He's mowing. I think his name's Howie (I also get to meet his son later). Nice dude. I'm very pleased with this course so far. Hole 4 is a 368' turnover shot over a little hill to the right:

I bomb a lovely drive on this one, pin high, 25' to the left, but I putt an inch short. Damn. Could've used the birdie. I have that 6 to work off.

Hole 5 you throw over water:

admittedly, it's a pretty mellow pond by comparison, and it's only a 270' shot, and the water is a little low right now. So that's good. But still it could certainly eat a disc. Throw a good shot and don't think about it. I put my Glide about 40' left of it, playing too safe. The basket's real close to the water so you can't really put a big hyzer on it. And the lip of the pool looks steep so don't expect to skip it.

I par. So far these aren't super technical, but there's a lot of obstacle to think about. Hole 6 is kind of my favorite just for the crazy taxi factor:

So you can see that this is a straightforwardish hole, a little hyzer through a smallish gap. But the fucking gap is made up by a weirdo shack on the right and a trashed-ass SCHOOL BUS on the left. "Be careful of barbed wire when retrieving disc" is what the tee sign says. INDEED. Here's a closer look:

The basket's in the field. I have a real good putt at this one since I miss the bus (eh heh) but it's another inch short. Wha? Did I mention it's now a solid 90 and I am completely soaked? Mostly from my trip down into the river, but it is not comfortable, adding to the experience. We're about to go into the woods and the rocks. But not yet. A lovely big fairway, hole 7, 320', but the gap and the basket are on the far right, with the rest of the woods poison ivy and so on (long pants, bitches: yes):

Guess where I end up.

You guessed well in the woods? Indeed. I find a gap for a hammer and save par because I am so far in the woods that I'm on the pathway to the next tee. Here's how it's meant to be played: very doable... for some players:

A nice little hole with a mando, hole 8:

You have to play this one on the right fairway (or rethrow from the short tee on the right if you miss it). It's super doable, and reminiscent of a hole on Cottage Grove up in Minnesota which I like. Only 227'. I throw a nice shot, but miss my putt. Fie! Now on to the forest:

Note the homemade wooden platform (a nice touch: they have some building skill on this course since they build all kinds of wooden steps etc. on the hills throughout the course). It's a big ole uphill shot to a gap that then floats down to the left:

Sweet. Hole 10, now that we've climbed the hill, plays across it, 340', hyzer into the woods. They like the into the woods shot. Isn't there a musical about this? So:

This is actually a shot from the fairway, since you can't really see the gap from the tee. Fun hole. I have a good drive, clunk the putt, it rolls. Make the comeback. Good times. This ain't a great round, but it's way better than my round on Lincoln Ridge/Banklick on Sunday, soon to be blogged, I'm sure.

Back to the uphill, I see, for hole 11, though a pretty easy (if fun, technical) one, only 170', hit the gap, don't give it too much, and let it settle in for a deuce to pay back your 6 from earlier:

And hole 12 is a big-ass uphill hole (only 260' but it plays like 400') that culminates in this sweet little pin position:

As you may imagine, it's way harder than you'd imagine to get it up there and have it stick. Best bet is to hit the putt. Which I do not. Bogey, y'all. I realize at this point that I won't have enough memory on my camera to take all the photos I want to, which blows. I skip shooting 13, which is nice, 270', straight and a little bend to the left at the end. Birdie this one.

14, however, is birdieable, but hilarious. You climb the fucking huge boulder to tee off (though the tee sign notes you can shoot from the base of it if you want to, but really, climb the fucking boulder; how many times do you get to throw from the boulder to a hugely elevated basket on another boulder? Not often. Possibly the shot is a little easier from the ground than the boulder:

It's actually tough to get a good shot of this to give you the real scope of the hole. Anyhow, I toss a good drive, leaving:

Then:

Chung! sweet deuce. Happy with this one. I'm starting to rack up some score on the back 9, which are all entertaining and very doable (excepting maybe a couple of the big ole uphill holes which are tough 3s). Hole 15 is a gorgeous anhyzer or forehand, not a real long one, probably 220' or so to this lovely basket situation (don't leave it short or you won't have anything because of the rocky outcropping, reminiscent of Dover, and don't throw it long or you have problems too):

I bogey this hole because I have a decent shot right at the basket, and I just run the hell out of it, figuring, what the crap, backstop of the gods, and then, no, it wings off the rock and rolls 80'. Great.

Hole 16 is a beautiful 350' but very drivable downhill hole that I don't have a photo of. If you go long it drops off into a massive ravine, and it's real easy to go long, yo. I par, playing it safe on the putt, which is good because the ravine is much deeper than it appears. "You will be mountain climbing," sez the tee sign. Indeed.

17's an awesome one, reminiscent of Tuscaloosa. Actually this whole course has aspects of Tuscaloosa, particularly the part where you have to do a lot of it yourself. This hole plays from elevated tee to elevated green with a huge valley in the middle, and trees of course on all sides. "Plays 315'. Be careful.":

I deuce it cause that is how I roll. Lovely hole, like one on Kaposia, which has handed me 9s before. This one you could definitely fuck up.

18's another downhill hole, out of the woods this time, and super-ace-able. 310' way downhill, OB behind the basket, water on the left. Throw a roc, try to make your putt:

Guess what? I do not make my putt. Shot a 55 on the course, which is below course "pro" par, but you could definitely go low on this course if you avoid screwing up the really hard holes, and convert the (many) potential birdie holes.

We'll end with "America: Fuck Yeah!":

 

which sums this experience up quite well. They play a Halloween tournament. Indeed.

I'd rate this course 3.7/4.0 on the whole. It's an impressive job with this pretty gnarly space. Lots of interesting rough edges on the course, but it's well-groomed considering (dude was on the riding mower when I was playing). Lots of interesting constructions. Much danger to be had here, which I appreciate. And there's a real sense you could be actually injured here. And that elevates the stakes. Highly recommend a trip to this course. $5 to play. I gave him $20.